Tag: life coach (Page 16 of 17)

How to avoid feeling lonely during the holiday season in our ‘new normal’

The holiday season has always had the potential to bring a mixed bag of emotions with it, including loneliness. This year, the pandemic has created an entirely new set of circumstances on a global level. Many areas all over the world have been placed under government directives to socialize only with those with whom they reside throughout the holidays. For those who live alone, they are allowed to visit with the member(s) of one other household. Obviously these directives vary depending on where you live but the above seems to be fairly common.

There are plenty of ways to keep loneliness at bay during special occasions and on a more regular basis. Keeping busy (with rest and relaxation mixed in, of course) is the ultimate method because it can help to keep our minds from dwelling on situations that may bring with them feelings of sadness and/or loneliness. Read a book, listen to music, continue with or take up a hobby (writing, photography, art, music, dance, gardening or houseplants, etc.) or online course (lots of good ones out there and some are free or currently on sale), watch some great shows or movies (I’m finding ‘This is Us’ to be a series I enjoy watching, and ‘Burden of Truth’ was great before this, too. ‘Klaus’ is the most recent movie I watched and I found it to be really well-written and executed), tackle jobs around your home that you haven’t had time for. Go for a drive along a scenic route. Or call/text/message/Zoom with friends and family. It may not be the same as in-person gatherings but they are still good ways to connect.

Exercise is another option for spending time during the holidays. Walking, skiing (X-country or downhill) or snowboarding, sledding, snowshoeing, skating, jogging, biking – all great forms of outdoor fitness that easily comply with physical distancing directives and will get you into the fresh air and releasing those endorphins. Just being out in nature can be uplifting and a mood booster. Indoors, there’s yoga, Pilates, walking on a treadmill, stretches or simple workout routines, to name a few.

If you do find that loneliness or even depression begin to creep in and you need assistance to deal with it, always know that there is professional help available. Therapists and counsellors appear to be offering both in-office and virtual sessions. Some may even have subsidized sessions available, depending upon your financial situation. There are also many online resources like Big White Wall, Headspace and other providers who are available 24/7 online and/or by phone. You are never alone. With mental health finally getting the attention it deserves, more and more resources are being developed and made easily accessible to the general public. A quick internet search will find you someone to talk to at any time of the day or night. In an emergency mental health situation, though, don’t hesitate to call 9-1-1.

Cooking and/or baking can be enjoyable activities, especially for special occasions. If you’re an experienced cook or baker, whip up your favourite dishes or try something new. If you’re a novice, take some time to practice with recipes you’re interested in learning to make. In the event that you need some direction, call a friend or family member, or watch a YouTube video for more in-depth explanations and tips.

How about starting a side hustle? With the pandemic-related move to more and more businesses going online, now might be the perfect time to give life to that idea that you’ve been dreaming about. The possibilities are endless. And you just might find that your passion could turn into your new livelihood.

So, going into the upcoming holiday season, we all have the option of making the best of it and taking steps to avoid loneliness as much as possible. We might even rekindle or discover activities that will stay with us long beyond the holidays. 🙂

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Strength arises out of Challenges

Strength arises most often from the challenging times in our lives.  It is often born out of our survival instinct or the need to protect ourselves and those around us.  It grows in those moments when we feel as though we can’t take one more step but somehow continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Those difficult times can also be viewed as opportunities for learning, growth and healing.  They can make us stronger and wiser.  Moments of hardship force us to adapt.  They also allow us the opportunity to share our experiences with others and possibly help someone else through a tough time.

Strength is most often born from the challenging times in our lives.

Find and grow your strength in the ups and downs of every day.  It’s there for you and continues to grow.  You just need to trust in it and in yourself.  Reaching out to a support system is also very important in some parts of our journeys.  Sometimes that is family, friends, support groups or an organization such as Natural Clarity Coaching, for example.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  na********************@***il.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

Self-care and mindfulness are important when working from home

Many of us have been experiencing the intricacies and complexities of working from home due to the global COVID-19 pandemic, some of us for the first time ever.  Although remote work has many benefits, it also comes with its fair share of challenges.

Working from home can have its share of challenges

Sometimes those challenges come in the form of cramped office quarters, ergonomic issues, trying to find a quiet space, internet connectivity problems (typically during virtual office meetings!), working longer hours, and so on.

Self-care is always a great tool when stress and tension abound in our lives.  In terms of working remotely, taking regular breaks to stretch or go for a short walk can be beneficial.  Daily work routines that include some downtime, no matter how brief, can make for improved mood and less anxiety.  Ensuring that the ergonomics of your workspace are to your liking can make a huge difference to your physical wellbeing.  Sometimes it’s difficult to carve out a quiet place so it may be necessary to create some household rules about volume levels during working hours.  It’s also quite easy to end up working extra time while stationed at home.  Keep an eye on the clock in terms of your scheduled time and try not to make burning the midnight oil a habit.  Insufficient sleep can lead to mood and productivity issues so it’s best to avoid that at all costs.  If getting to sleep becomes an issue, consider trying deep breathing techniques (see my previous blog post), aromatherapy or listening to bilateral music or wave sounds, to name a few great options.

Overall, reframing your work life to include a remote situation requires a change in perspective.  When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  Do what works for you.  Being mindful of how you feel about certain work-from-home situations can also open your thoughts to potential adjustments that would be welcome improvements.

Regardless of your situation, self-care is important on so many levels.  Make sure to include time to take care of yourself every day.

Until next time,

Heather  ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  www. naturalclaritycoaching.com  na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Breathing Technique for Anxiety and Sleep – 4-7-8 “Relaxed Breath”

Here is a great way to reduce stress.  It can also help with falling asleep.

It’s called the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique (“Relaxed Breath”).  This is how it works:

Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold breath for 7 seconds, exhale forcefully through pursed lips for 8 seconds.  This cycle can be repeated up to four times in a row, two or more times daily.

Breathe Rock

You can also pair this exercise with guided imagery or meditation for an even more therapeutic experience.

Just breathe, my friends.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  na********************@***il.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

What other people think of you is none of your business – words to live by

Not giving any energy or time to what other people think of you; this is one of the greatest tools for finding peace and happiness.

Not giving your time or energy to what others think of you can change your life in amazing ways

In all honesty, at the end of the day, what matters is our own self-perception and learning to accept ourselves in every way.  Fulfillment doesn’t come from trying to make everyone else happy by changing who we are, or our physical appearance or our belief systems.  Even if we wanted to try, we would never succeed.  It would be a losing and exhausting battle.  Putting our time and energy into attempting to fit in or impress others or change our opinions to make someone else happy, is simply cheating us of our authenticity and taking precious moments away from enjoying our own lives.  Add onto that all of the stress and anxiety and potential depression that worrying about pleasing others creates, and you can see exactly why it’s best to appreciate and nourish who you are and not worry about what anyone else thinks of you.

Be YOU inside and out.  Set yourself free.  It’s your life so do it your way.  What other people think of you is none of your business.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  na********************@***il.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

Low Contact and No Contact for Protection Against Narcissists

Low contact and no contact are two highly-recommended tools to protect oneself from narcissists and their dysfunctional, abusive behaviour.

NCC Low Contact No Contact

Low contact means simply having very little contact with narcissistic people such as parents, siblings, friends.  If you choose to have someone narcissistic in your life for whatever reason, it can look like infrequent phone calls or visits, mailing letters or sending emails.  In a work setting where it is impossible not to interact with a narcissistic employer or co-worker, it may look more like brief professional conversations (no emotion or personal content) and only when absolutely necessary.  It definitely involves creating boundaries in which you feel safe, and then strongly enforcing them.  Whatever works for you, do it.  It’s an individual preference.  No contact entails zero association with narcissists; no verbal, in-person or written interactions, no checking their social media.  It means having absolutely nothing to do with them.  This can be challenging at first but becomes much easier as each day passes.  It is also worth noting that most narcissistic-type individuals will push back against boundaries and changes in their level of control.  Stay strong and keep the faith that you are doing what is in your best interests.  As a side note, dealing with a narcissistic significant other can look very different than the relationships listed above; however, there are still ways to protect yourself and make good choices for your future.  I will write about this in future posts.

Both of these methods work very well for many people in protecting their peace and sanity from narcissists.  It allows clarity and a new sense of perspective to develop, free from anyone who seeks to control, condescend, intimidate or manipulate.

So, if you are in search of tools to protect your calm and wellbeing, low contact and/or no contact can literally be a lifesaver.  If you feel that you could use a support system during this process, please contact Natural Clarity Coaching at the email listed below for further information.  That’s what we’re here for.

Until next time!

Heather – ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

C-PTSD and Muscle Armoring – Always Tense and Braced for Trauma

For anyone who lives with C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Muscle Armoring (or Body Hypervigilance) can be a very real and challenging issue.  With this situation, the individual is always on high alert for perceived threats in their environment.  This state involves both mental ‘scanning’ and physical armoring in preparation for fight, flight or freeze in response to potential ‘attacks’.  Over time, this high state of preparedness becomes the norm.  The mind and body are ALWAYS in a state of readiness to defend and protect.

This constant hypervigilance can lead to mental anxiety (a topic of future blogs) as well as muscle armoring.  Muscle armoring is the direct result of a constant state of physical tension.  Another way to look at it is as defence mechanisms in consistent overdrive.  Physically, that can look like raised shoulders and neck tension, tight facial muscles, regular jumpiness, constant fidgeting and so on.  Generally, many of the muscles in the body are perpetually tensed up and in a state of readiness in anticipation of an attack.  In C-PTSD, this is typically the result of living in environments with prolonged abuse and trauma.

Muscle armoring or body hypervigilance, which is a completely unconscious defence and survival phenomenon, causes muscles to be continually overworked, which typically results in muscle (and sometimes adrenal) fatigue and pain.  Once that pain becomes a reality, many people begin to become increasingly aware of just how tense their bodies are.

So, you may be wondering what can be done to improve the situation.  First of all, it is highly recommended to find a good therapist who specializes in C-PTSD and can help with understanding and healing from the originating psychological aspect .  With an awareness of the underlying causes, the physical issues can then be better approached with understanding and compassion.  A support system such as what is offered by Natural Clarity Coaching can also be of great assistance throughout the journey of healing.

Obviously, a balanced diet, exercise, sufficient sleep and regular self-care are always great practices.  Beyond that, there are many additional options, such as:  Massage therapy with a professional or via the use of at-home massage tools, yoga (there are many programs to be found for free online which are specifically geared to dealing with trauma), essential oils, warm baths with Epsom salts, heating pads, body braids, TENS units, deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation exercises, guided imagery, mindfulness and meditation.

NCC frog relaxing on lily pad

As with anything of this magnitude, recovery and healing will take time.  Hypervigilance and body armoring doesn’t happen overnight, so it definitely won’t resolve that quickly, either.  Be patient and kind to yourself during the healing process.  You deserve peace and wellbeing in every part of your life.

Until next time,

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching  www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

 

 

Perspective – A Skill (Superpower?) Well Worth Developing

Perspective is a significant part of our day-to-day lives.  As the saying goes, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” (Wayne Dyer).  Negative, positive or neutral, our perspective is our choice.

It’s worth mentioning that we all have struggles, some of which can be incredibly challenging.  No matter how difficult, though, we always have the option to change our perspective in terms of how we choose to view any situation.  Sure, life can throw us really rotten curve balls, but viewing something as a learning experience, for example, can take the edge off of the situation and possibly open the mind to solutions.  The school of hard knocks can literally make us stronger people if we rise to the challenge.  We can also opt for changing our perspective in order to reduce stress levels and keep up our momentum for moving forward.

If you change the way you look at things, (1)

At the end of the day, perspective is a choice.  And that choice can literally change our lives if we actively engage in awareness of our ongoing perspectives and then opening our minds to other views.  It can be quite an empowering skill (maybe even a superpower!) once we develop it and learn to put it into practice regularly.

Until next time,

Heather  Natural Clarity Coaching  na********************@***il.com  www.naturalclaritycoaching.com   Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram, Twitter

 

 

Narcissists are Time Thieves

When a narcissist is involved directly in your life, especially as a partner, there is no doubt that they will take many things from you.  TIME is one of the major thefts.  Let’s chat about that today.

clock.jpg

Your time will undoubtedly be stolen through giving seemingly endless amounts of catering to and focusing on someone who can never seem to get enough attention.  Countless hours will be spent on worrying about whatever negative situations the narcissist brings into your life.  Priority and importance will take leave from your own self-care and personal goals in order to be piled into wondering what you said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do) that caused the narcissist to lash out at you in anger or give you the silent treatment for hours or days.  (Side note:  It’s never truly about you – these are broken people)

As time goes on, most, if not all, of your energy will shift to the narcissist, to the often total detriment of yourself.  Every day becomes all about them; their wants, needs, dreams and goals.  You may even lose all sense of who YOU are in the process.

Obviously it is a matter of personal choice to either stay with or leave a narcissistic partner.  No matter what, though, it is imperative that we hold on to our own self-care, wants, needs, dreams and goals.  Carving out as much time as possible to take care of ourselves and prioritize our own aims in life can make a huge difference, whether we’re with a narcissist or have chosen to live a narc-free existence.

The bottom line is that time is precious and no one should be allowed to steal all of it from us.

Be well.

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching

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