One of the main areas of focus at Natural Clarity Coaching is to work with clients who have recognized that they have been the victim of one or more narcissists and who have chosen to work on their recovery from the abuse and damage.
As our target area is recovery, the narcissists and their behaviour are not a major topic. However, let’s get the basics out of the way. What exactly is a narcissist (aka an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD)? NPD is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. These people often are or were victims of someone narcissistic, which often leads them to engaging in the same behaviour towards others. They are broken people. As the saying goes, ‘Hurt people, hurt people’. It’s a vicious cycle in which serious dysfunctions are created and poor choices are often made. In the end, it comes down to those crucial points of making a choice to either get help and recover or to allow the brokenness to perpetuate the cycle of hurt. Many literally can’t or won’t see the patterns and the cycles within their relationships, though, so they simply continue with them. These issues often run through families for generations.
What are some of the potential resulting issues for someone who is abused by a narcissist? Well, after any period of time with someone who uses words in manipulative ways in order to control, demean, confuse, isolate and emotionally break you for their own benefit, there will almost always be consequences. In fact, this is so common that there is something called Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome wherein, very basically put, individuals begin to doubt themselves and their own sanity. There is also a high risk of Complex-PTSD, adrenal fatigue (from constant fight, flight, freeze), anxiety, depression and a variety of other life-changing issues.
The bottom line is that being abused by a narcissist, whether it is a family member, significant other, employer or co-worker, and so on, is an incredibly difficult and challenging situation. And because it typically creeps in insidiously and becomes ‘the way of things’, together with silent treatments and/or anger for pushing back against the abusive behaviour, we often become lulled into a sense of it being ‘normal’ and that it’s better to just hunker down, keep quiet (or sometimes argue constantly) and live with it. It’s possible that we grew up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissistic parent, so dysfunction feels familiar with romantic partners or friends. This is what love looks like, right? Maybe we’ve been convinced that we deserve this treatment. So we slide into survival mode just to get through every day. But even though we may eventually feel numb, those manipulative words, those ongoing silent treatments or verbal attacks, and that constant emotional pain and hurt, have all culminated in any number of the issues which I noted above. Like an onion, there are layers of damage and trauma involved.
So that’s a very simplified explanation of narcissists, narcissistic abuse, and the damage it can do to others. There is ample information online and in a variety of books that will tell us anything we want to know about the subject. In fact, just look around at many of today’s news headlines (think American politics 😉 ) or the constant selfies and egotistical attitudes of some ‘celebrities’ – that’s a lesson in narcissistic behaviour right there.
Information about recovery from narcissistic abuse isn’t yet as widely available. And, unfortunately, there are many online sites that offer recovery programs at unreal prices. Natural Clarity Coaching places importance on making recovery support affordable in the short or long term.
Recovery is a journey but it’s well worth the time and effort. Contact Natural Clarity Coaching at na********************@***il.com or take a look at our website at www.naturalclaritycoaching.com. We offer customized narcissistic abuse recovery programs and a strong support system to stand beside you every step of the way. $25/hour Cdn.
Take that step towards reclaiming yourself and your life. You’ll be glad that you did.
Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching
