If you’re interested, here’s a link to a book on the subject of narcissistic personality disorder: https://amzn.to/3PbfsJq
~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn
*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours 
*
When we decide to go low contact or no contact with dysfunctional family members, friends, partners, workplaces, and so on, what happens to those individuals and the toxic system? It doesn’t really matter as far as our own healing and progress is concerned, but it’s interesting to consider it.
In the case of, say, a narcissistic romantic partner, there may be an initial attempt at keeping the relationship intact but they will typically move on to a new person (aka source of supply, meaning someone to keep their ego happy temporarily). When there are children involved, there may be issues, but there is definitely an assortment of legal and other means of managing everything. Toxic workplaces would be similar to romantic partners because there will typically be someone there to fill the void space, as would be the case with the majority of toxic friends (particularly ones with shallow bonds).
But when it comes to a toxic family system with, potentially, a narcissist at the helm, what happens when, say, the scapegoat leaves through low contact or no contact? This is different than the relationships noted above. Family systems have incredibly lengthy histories, with specific people who “play” certain roles. For example, with a narcissistic mother as the dominant individual, there will quite likely be an enabling father. And there will be a child or children who are the scapegoat or the golden child. The dysfunctional family system, and particularly the narcissist, needs everyone to stay in order to maintain the status quo. And the people within the system can’t simply be replaced. This toxic system can often include extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and others. In order to survive, it needs its members to remain in the loop and to play their given parts.
So, scapegoats will often experience attempts by family members to keep them drawn into the mix. A narcissistic parent needs the scapegoat; to talk about, complain about, blame, control, condescend to, put down, manipulate. Without this relational dynamic, the narcissist’s system falls apart. This is at the very root of the entire game they play to feed their fragile egos. How can they play the victim or place blame if the scapegoat isn’t available? Who do they compare their golden child to, if not the scapegoat? How do they pass their time with, perhaps, an enabling partner if they don’t have their usual scapegoat fodder to regularly discuss and dissect? It may not even be the narcissistic parent who attempts to draw a scapegoat back into the fold. In fact, they’re more likely to play the victim of ‘abandonment’ and then encourage others to do the convincing on their behalf. It could be the enabling parent, siblings, other relatives, or flying monkeys (people who do the narcissist’s bidding on the mistaken belief that the narcissist is being victimized) who are friends of the narcissist. Why? Because they likely feel ill at ease with the shift in the system, in addition to having to deal with an angry narcissist who, without their fall guy, might now be aiming their increased victim charade, outbursts, blaming, and negative behaviour at other people. Everyone in the system wants to keep the narcissist happy, if only to make their own lives less difficult. Just like a loss of hydro to a home, the goal of a toxic family that has lost its integral scapegoat is to reinstitute them in their role and put the system back to ‘normal’.
To sum it up, toxic family systems will be turned on their heads when a scapegoat makes the decision to remove themselves. And those who remain will struggle with the change and will have a tendency to want to bring everything back as it was. Holding an awareness of this can be of great benefit for scapegoats. We may get the emotional impression management treatment from family members who want us to return to our role so that everything will be back in place. “We all miss you, please come back. We’re your family”. But the sad truth is that they don’t miss ‘us’; they miss the perceived stability of the toxic system, whether they realize it or not. Everyone needs to play their part to keep the dysfunction alive and well in order to have even the slightest chance of a bit of peace in their lives. This system is familiar and it’s what keeps narcissists as content as they can be, which means that everything can keep rolling along, as well as it possibly can in such a disordered environment. When we leave, they want us to return, but not for the right reasons.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter
As children in dysfunctional families, particularly with narcissists in the mix, emotional loneliness can be a strong factor in our lives. We may feel very alone and abandoned, and, in many cases, this creates feelings of something being ‘wrong’ with us. In turn, we may use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with all of it.
This emotional loneliness comes from being in an abnormal environment where sympathetic interest in us is lacking. We may be told we’re too sensitive or too emotional. Or the unspoken (or sometimes spoken) message might be that we don’t matter enough to our family for them to even take the time or make the effort to hear us or provide any support or comfort. We’re usually conditioned to believe that the only voices that matter come from our caregivers and that they’re the only ones who are permitted to have and express all manner of emotions. It’s a lonely and emotionally cut-off place to be, without a doubt. This is abuse and it creates interpersonal trauma.
But does feeling this way mean there’s something wrong with us? No. Not in any way, shape, or form. The way we feel is a completely normal reaction to an abnormal environment. In most cases, our caregivers simply weren’t emotionally mature enough themselves, for whatever reason, to offer emotional support to anyone else. We feel the effects of that void in the form of emotional loneliness. It’s like being completely alone on an island. As humans, it’s absolutely normal to feel this way in response to a lack of healthy contact and support from our caregivers. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us. The root of these feelings is people who aren’t there for us the way they should be. And we’re having normal human reactions to being starved of those connections and experiences.
So, how do we overcome emotional loneliness? First of all, be aware that it won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth taking the time to heal. We need to begin by repairing our conditioned reality. Dysfunctional families are not there for one another in healthy and supportive ways. If we’re looking at narcissistic parenting, for example, narcissists, with their fragile and needy egos, have zero ability or desire to attend to anyone but themselves, and they expect everyone around them to make them the center of the universe as well. Once we see that, things begin to make sense. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with me! I was reacting normally to an abnormal environment.” Then we need to move on to the next step, which is to learn to love ourselves. It sounds cliched, for sure. But it helps us to heal. This can look like building compassion for and trust in ourselves, giving ourselves the unconditional love that we deserved but rarely or never received as children, comforting and hearing our inner child, learning to silence our internal critic and the guilt and shame that has been unjustly forced on us, and exercising regular self-care. We need to develop healthy, non-toxic relationships with self and with supportive others in order to heal ourselves.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter
For me personally, when I was married to a narcissist, I became sleep-deprived. First of all, he snored and rolled non-stop from the moment he fell asleep (which usually took less than 30 seconds) until he woke up. That was just how he was. Not much can be done about the way a person sleeps, except maybe anti-snore devices (which he, of course, refused to try). However, if he happened to wake up in the night, he would typically wake me up as well, quite intentionally, by touching me or speaking to me, and sometimes more than once. Then he’d fall right back to sleep again. Although I asked him not to do this, it continued (surprising, right?! ~sarcasm~) Here’s the picture – it would take me sometimes hours to fall asleep with all of the snoring and movement. My mind was also constantly in worry mode because of the ever-growing issues with my narcissistic and abusive husband, so it was difficult to shut it down and relax. If I was woken up, it would take the same length of time for me to get back to sleep again. Sometimes I would go and sleep on our very uncomfortable couch, but we had a cat who roamed all night and spent much of his time running across me, jumping here and there, and meowing. After all, I was in his territory at that point so I couldn’t expect much more (cats – what can you do?) Quite distracting, to say the least! So, sleep became very elusive. And the deprivation and its effects set in fairly soon. For me, it became life as usual but, looking back, it was truly debilitating and forced me into auto-pilot just to get through.
So, what was the collateral damage of sleep problems? Looking back to that time, this is what I recall experiencing:
Emotionally, my issues grew increasingly worse. Between lack of sleep and constantly being worried about everything (finances, etc.) and on edge and on guard from the abuse, I was a wreck. I began struggling with anxiety and depression, and my emotions would ping-pong all over the place. Happiness was a foreign concept. I was in fight, flight or fright mode 24/7. Muscle armoring was constant. Peace was not a word in my vocabulary.
Physically, my body was always fatigued and sore, I had almost constant headaches and migraines, my appetite went from not wanting to eat anything one day to eating much more than was healthy the next. That, in turn, influenced my weight in a yo-yo pattern. I was often shaky and clumsy from fatigue and blood sugar issues. There were so many more symptoms but I think you likely get the picture. Looking in the mirror, I could almost see myself ageing much faster than normal. I looked weary, unhealthy and hopeless. And I was so tired that I didn’t even have the energy to care. Self-care? What was that? I was spinning out of control and the functioning of my mind and body were diminishing almost daily.
Cognitively, my thinking was highly negatively impacted and brain fog set in. My thoughts were slow, confused, erratic, often illogical and irrational. Most days I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. I would sometimes get to work and wonder how I had even dressed myself, after having checked to ensure that I was actually clothed.
It goes without saying that I was being heavily affected by both the narcissistic abuse and resulting issues, including sleep deprivation.
Lack of sleep causes all of the issues mentioned above and more. It also messes with your hormones and immune system, to name just two, which can create a further tumbling domino effect, some of which can include illness. Your brain and body need sufficient and restorative sleep in order to help you to function optimally. When you are constantly running on empty, it makes it challenging for your body’s systems just to get you through the day.
When my foggy mind finally saw just how bad things had become, I left my husband. It literally took me months to catch up on my sleep after that experience. Honestly, some nights at the beginning of my efforts to get back on track, I would still lay awake – mind racing, wide awake but exhausted – until 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. before I finally fell asleep, and then I would need to be up in a couple of hours. It was a vicious cycle that I needed to put an end to. It literally felt like I was fighting to bring myself back. I needed to make a strong effort to schedule my sleeping times and even had daily naps for a while. The most challenging part was learning to relax physically and to slow down my mind in order to even have a chance at sleep. One of the steps I took right away was to avoid screens within 30 minutes of trying for sleep. I also learned some simple breathing techniques, progressive body relaxation and mindfulness to bring my thoughts to the present and stop worrying about the past and the future. After discussing it with my doctor, another resource I began using is a magnesium supplement about an hour before bedtime. I had been struggling with restless leg syndrome and it definitely helped me with that issue (I can’t even remember the last time it happened). But, for me, I also find that the magnesium makes it easy for me to drift off to sleep in just a few minutes, and I typically remain asleep for the entire night.
Getting into a healthy sleep pattern made a HUGE difference in my life. Self-regulation of emotions and behavior was no longer a problem because I became rested, alert and so much less automatically reactive. On a physical level, I began feeling better than I had in years. My lifestyle also grew to include daily exercise and a change in eating habits, so they have helped in that category as well. And when it comes to my mind and thinking processes, everything turned around in that department. My thoughts went back to a state of being faster, clearer and more organized. I started feeling like myself again. It was and continues to be an amazing feeling.
There are plenty of resources out there regarding the science behind sleep if you’re interested. There are necessary stages that we cycle through more than once during the night, and we can’t reach those stages if we’re lying awake for hours or constantly starting from step one because our sleep is being disrupted. The bottom line is that without proper sleep, our wellbeing on every level is impacted negatively. The longer the deprivation continues, the worse everything becomes. If you are in an abusive relationship or other chronically challenging situation, keep all of this in mind and do your best to avoid insufficient and/or continually disrupted sleep. Use any resource that works for you to keep things as on track as is possible.
In the event that you have left the abuse or other ongoing challenging environment and are feeling burnt out and low, know that it does get better. Working on stress management, diet (staying hydrated with water is beneficial holistically, too), exercise (walking, yoga, swimming, biking, etc. – and exercising outside increases the benefits for your mind and emotions) and regular sleep patterns brought me such amazing overall improvements and made an enormous improvement in my life. Your efforts don’t need to include massive changes if you aren’t up to it. Stick to the basics of regular exercise (whatever that looks like for you), healthy eating (and if you feel that your nutrient intake may be out of whack despite a balanced diet, talk to your GP or a nutritionist about vitamins and/or supplements), adequate and quality sleep, engaging in self-care, and learning better coping skills for daily life, and you will find yourself on an upward trajectory in short order. If you need support on your journey, feel free to touch base.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
It has been a little while since my last post here. Between a welcome end-of-summer holiday and other happenings, I took some time away from writing. However, I have many topics that have been rolling around in my mind for future posts. If you are ever interested in having me create a post with regard to a specific topic, feel free to email me at na********************@***il.com. I’d be happy to look into your request and hopefully create something that you and others will find beneficial.
News: In an effort to be of further assistance and support to clients, I have returned to full-time university online with Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. I’m majoring in a Bachelor of Psychology program with the goal of ultimately obtaining a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology (with an institution that offers the program). Additionally, working within the benefits coverage system will allow more individuals to access my services and get the support they need. I’ll try to share some details of delving back into post-secondary education as my journey unfolds.
Check in for more posts soon. Don’t hesitate to touch base with me with post topics or to arrange an online or telephone appointment.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
A saying that I’m quite fond of is, “If you can’t beat fear, just do it scared”.
Sometimes “doing it scared” can be our best option for an improvement in our current situation. But, of course, taking a risk, a leap of faith, if you will, can be terrifying.
As someone who has left circumstances involving narcissistic abuse, I spent a lot of time before leaving just going over all of the risks and possible outcomes in my mind. I analyzed until there was nothing left to analyze. What I was left with was the need to make a decision. You see, I had arrived at a point where I knew that the impact of the narcissist’s behaviour (although I was completely unaware of narcissism at that time) was so damaging that I couldn’t subject myself to it much longer. I was feeling constantly anxious, depressed, worried, confused, blamed, fearful, unloved, joyless and so on. It was literally breaking me more with each passing day. In a state of sheer desperation, I reached out to a women’s shelter who then put me in touch with an in-house social worker. Finally … a support system to help me. Together, we worked through my options, made a plan and, with her strong and reliable support, I was able to remove myself from a situation that had become intolerable. Getting back to the topic of this post, I did all of this scared. Terrified, really. Getting past the fear – of leaving a significant relationship, starting over in every way and wondering if it would all work out – was not happening. That fear was going nowhere fast. So in the depths of being scared, I took the leap anyway. I couldn’t beat fear so I did it scared. And despite all of those concerns and eventual risk taken, it turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
The bottom line is that we humans sometimes have to take action while we’re scared, even terrified, of what the outcome could be. It’s a reality that some paths to a better life include what seems like rings of fire and sharp trip wires that we have to make it through. But if we need to save ourselves, we do what we need to do, even in the grips of fear.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
When asked what I believe is the most important step to take towards peace, fulfillment and happiness in life, particularly during and post-narcissistic abuse and the ensuing healing journey, the answer is definitely to Find Yourself and then continue the process of building on that foundation to hone, refine and develop exactly who you feel you are and want to be.
What exactly do I mean by Find Yourself? Finding yourself means truly searching for you. It means digging through all of the biases we have been subjected to throughout our lives and really focusing on what we think, feel and place importance on. It means asking ourselves who and what in this world makes us feel loved, comforted, happy and peaceful and then sorting those out from the people and things who do the opposite. We may need to consider low contact or no contact with family, friends and others who present us with disrespect, condescension, struggle and other negativity that causes us to feel harassed, belittled, uncomfortable, unloved, sad, confused, anxious and so on.
What else might finding yourself include? Self-care and self-love are incredibly important components in this process. From the smallest of items to more obvious ones, every act of self-care and self-love is of benefit. You can read more about some self-care ideas in my previous posts.
Why is finding yourself important? Once you find yourself, you will know what is important to you, how you feel about the people and the world around you, you will know what you think and you will care enough about yourself to ensure that you take steps to protect yourself from toxic people and situations by using strategies such as boundaries and low or no contact.
So you might wonder if finding yourself is easy. The simplest answer is no, usually not. It’s a journey. But, in my opinion, it’s an essential and necessary journey that will help to bring you to a more positive, confident, self-assured place where you can feel strong enough to create and uphold boundaries and to be true to yourself every day, with anyone, in any situation.
Finding yourself is a rewarding journey, but it is especially so for those who have experienced trauma and abuse of any kind. It can help you greatly as you navigate the healing process. Working with a counsellor or life coach can also be of assistance as you move forward in your journey. Find yourself.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
Yes!
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
From the perspective of an ACON (Adult Children of Narcissists) and a DONM (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers), I could literally write a book on my experiences. In all honesty, anyone who grew up in a disordered household headed by a narcissist will have innumerable stories they could tell. The tales we can tell are our own but, sadly, the majority of them are incredibly similar at their root level. They all generally boil down to narcissistic behaviours and how they domino out to everyone in their orbit.
If I were to go to a more personal level and summarize my life as the child of a narcissist into its most basic form by using a few examples, it would be this:
As the family scapegoat, I felt from a very early age that my mom and I simply didn’t ‘jive’. The connection just wasn’t there. Being female, and through no fault of my own (from stories recounted to me, this appears to have started when I was just a baby – for example, being told many times over the course of my life that she wanted to throw me against a wall because I cried when I had colic), I triggered her own deep-seated issues, which caused her to target me and resulted in a lack of a bond between us. This woman adores, supports, encourages, brags about and idolizes my younger brother. It’s not as though she is incapable of those things. Ironically enough, when he and I have made similar decisions in our lives as adults, she has raved about how wondrous his choices were but somehow managed to find fault with all of mine. Although this narcissistic behaviour became abundantly clear to me many years ago, it was incredibly confusing when I was younger, and led to me accepting her nonsense and losing any self-esteem or confidence I may have had. This was my mother. My dad went along with it. I believed her to be the all-knowing and wise person she claimed to be. If she deemed me a disappointment and a failure, then she was probably right as far as I was concerned. That’s what narcissistic abuse has the potential to do to a person when they don’t have a knowledgeable support system or awareness to lean on.
Throughout my childhood and into my teen years, I was pressured and expected to excel at everything I did while, simultaneously, a cloud of low expectations hung over my head. My mom expected me to be the best (because in her mind this would make her look good to the outside world) while at the same time telling me I was “just average” (she’s big on labelling, especially when it comes to intelligence). To add insult to injury, no matter how well I did in school or other pursuits, it was never good enough for her. An ‘A’ on a test would result in her questioning why it wasn’t an A+. On occasions when an A+ was awarded, apparently it was obvious to my mom that the test was too easy and likely everyone in the class did well on it. Or sometimes she surmised that the teacher must have favored me and therefore the mark wasn’t truly representative of my (in her opinion, limited) abilities and was undeserved and, in fact, unfair to my classmates. The same judgments were a constant for any of my other pursuits, including sports and, especially, music. She always heard that one little mistake and, in her opinion, that ruined the entire performance. That one error would be blown out of proportion and zero credit would be given for the thousands of correct notes and other musical elements that go together with them. Looking back from an adult’s point of view, I realized that from a young age I began focusing on the negative and not looking at my strengths as a direct result of my mother’s constant judgments and criticisms as well as the almost complete lack of encouragement and support. One mistake became catastrophic in my mind.
My friends were also constantly being critiqued and negative comments made to me about them. In her mind, I never chose the ‘right’ friends (or partners as I got older). She would literally suggest the people that I should spend time with (people she felt would be “good friends”) and would badger me about it on a regular basis. There would be comments made by her that my chosen friends were abusive (ironic, isn’t it?!) and that I needed to “get a backbone” and “stand up” for myself. One time when I had a falling out (temporary, thankfully) with a friend (which, by the way, was instigated by my mom and her constant prodding), I shared with my mom just how upset I was that I felt I had lost my best friend. Rather than comfort me or say something supportive, she started crying and told me that she thought she was my best friend and that what I said had hurt her deeply! Within a couple weeks, though, she was talking about how many years she and her “best friend” had known one another!
One moment that is very vivid for me after many years was the time that I told my mom that I was feeling depressed. After getting this out in the open, I started to cry because I was feeling emotional. She slapped me across the face, told me to “snap out of it” and then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Needless to say, that was truly a lesson in not sharing my feelings that has stuck with me since then. Working through it has been a process but is well worth it.
In terms of my family of origin (FOO), it was dysfunctional from day one. My dad, bless his heart, is a lovely man who is loyal and kind to a fault. Does he see my mom for who she is? I don’t know for certain. I’ve seen glimpses of awareness over the years but his enabling behaviour continues regardless. However, I do understand the reason for this. My mom has a strong “you’re either with me or against me” mentality with everyone in her life. If my dad even slightly appears to side with anyone but her, days or sometimes weeks of misery rain down upon him. Her vicious griping is equally as undesirable as her cold stares and silent treatment. I don’t blame him for wanting to avoid all of that. I get it because I’ve lived it, too. He has spent decades working/escaping more than he was home so I’m sure it’s nice to look forward to downtime rather than dreading it. But it’s also really difficult for me to have always been the scapegoat (my golden child sibling was, of course, rarely held accountable for anything), the black sheep, the one “in the wrong” no matter what, the one whose perspective was not allowed to be heard. As an aside, I had an absolutely wonderful grandmother who lived nearby who was supportive, loving, caring and an amazing friend. Without her … well, I wouldn’t even want to imagine how much more challenging life would have been. Although we rarely spoke of my mom or her behaviour (it’s quite likely that she had never put a name to it, and she was also someone who didn’t speak of others behind their backs), my grandma was there for me and that was what mattered.
Fittingly enough, the final narcissistic straw for me that led to many and continuing years of low and rare contact (never in-person or by phone) with my parents was, after several months of ridiculous drama, my mom pressuring my dad to the point where he informed me that I had “been the problem in this family for XX years” (the X’s represent my age at the time). Yes, folks, apparently my just being born was an issue and, in fact, the very reason our family was so disordered. After all that, I was then informed by my mom that my dad wouldn’t have said that (it was said in front of a witness) and that I needed to apologize. And that situation from start to finish is something that really sealed the deal for me in recognizing that I genuinely was not and had never been “the problem” in my family, no matter how much my narcissistic mother needed to label me as such in order to avoid dealing with or having other people focus on her many serious issues and the trouble those had caused within our family unit. Before I could walk, talk or be independent enough to even cause a problem for anyone, I was negatively labelled and that continued on because my mom needed it to and my dad felt that he was required to go along with it or else be made miserable (yes, he had choices but his blind loyalty and trying to protect his own peace traditionally came and still comes first). And then to be be informed that I had made up my dad’s words to me and should apologize … well, that was added to the already large stores of strong evidence that my mom holds neither herself (I don’t recall her ever sincerely accepting responsibility for her actions or giving a genuine apology for anything) nor anyone who acts on her behalf accountable for anything. Shifting the blame is typical behaviour, particularly blaming the family scapegoat.
So, obviously this is an incredibly shortened version of a small number of my experiences within a narcissistic family. There are hundreds, maybe thousands more that I could write about but it would take me well beyond the scope of a website post. Since becoming aware of my mother’s issues, how it impacted my family of origin, and how it has deeply affected me on more levels than I ever thought possible, I have read, researched and taken in everything possible on the subject of narcissism and its far-reaching impacts. I have worked diligently on my own recovery and committed years ago to helping and supporting others in doing the same. I also firmly believe in educating people in the realm of narcissism awareness so that some might be spared from being victims of the damage caused by individuals with this personality disorder. Difficult as they were, my experiences have made me the person I am today and also placed me in the position of being there to help others who find themselves in the grips of narcissistic abuse and/or attempting to recover from it.
Until next time,
Heather Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
Many of us are natural caregivers. We enjoy looking after others (people, animals, etc.), and that’s a great and admirable trait. But one thing that can be forgotten is to give ourselves the same care and love that we so willingly give to the world around us.
When we are low on our list of priorities (or absent from the list altogether), over time, it can leave us feeling fatigued, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or possibly unbalanced and unwell on a mental and/or physical level. Eventually, we can end up unable to look after anyone else, let alone ourselves.
Prioritizing time for self-care is essential, whether or not we are caregivers. We need to nurture ourselves holistically in every area – physical, emotional, social, spiritual and mental. Whether it’s meditation, mindfulness, therapy, exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, relaxing in a warm bath, massage therapy, spending time in nature, listening to music, and so on, every act of self-care makes a difference in our lives. It helps us to recharge, energize, clear our minds, reconnect with people, nourish and keep our bodies well, to name just a few, and feeling good further encourages the healthy cycle of self-care.
When we take care of ourselves (it’s not selfish, it’s necessary), we are helping to ensure that our holistic health and wellness is prioritized, strengthened and maintained. That way, we can enjoy our lives and continue to care for others who are important to us and help them to enjoy their lives as well.
In situations where we are in a toxic environment, such as with a narcissist or other negative individual, prioritizing ourselves can be challenging, but it is all the more important to engage in self-care so that we can withstand the toxicity without allowing it to harm us.
Prioritizing ourselves is a matter of health and wellness. No matter how small the act of self-care, it can make a positive difference. Take care of yourselves every day, my friends!
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
© 2026 ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ Learn, Grow, Thrive
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
