So, it’s been a little while since I last had an opportunity to sit down and write. As I’ve posted in the past, I returned to university back in September in order to study psychology. So I’ve just finished up a multitude of assignments and midterm exams. The next term starts on January 10th, which gives me time to get caught up on a variety of items on my to-do list.
As the holidays are upon us, I wanted to touch on some tips for getting through in one piece, especially if a narcissist is involved. Maybe even more than one of them is a part of your life. Let me start by saying that you are not alone. There are many of us who are dealing with toxic family members and others in some way at this time of year. On the flip side, you might be low or no contact with those people and possibly feeling lost, lonely and down. Recognizing that others are going through what you are can lessen the challenging feelings that go along with these situations.
One great idea is to incorporate the JADE method into your interactions – Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain. Narcissists know how to push people’s buttons, including putting others on the defensive and feeling the need to justify their actions/words/life. Leave your emotions out of these interactions (grey rock method – little to no emotion) and recognize that someone is attempting to manipulate you because they have a need to diminish and control to feel good about themselves, and you won’t likely feel the need to JADE as often or even at all. It’s difficult to do initially but it gets easier with practice. And the bonus is that not only will you not get pulled into the drama but there’s a good chance that the person in question might just give up when they can’t get a rise out of you.
If you are alone over the holidays or missing special times that are no longer taking place, then consider making new traditions for yourself. And be sure to make time for self-care, whatever that may look like for you (exercise, bubble baths, spending time in nature or with pets, listening to music, reading, writing, etc.). Reach out to people that you trust, or chat with others in an online discussion group of your choice. Maybe it’s a group for adult children of toxic families or one that involves a hobby or topic of interest. Social connectedness can do wonders for our wellbeing, especially if it’s in a way that we feel comfortable and secure with.
That’s all for now. I’ll be back with new posts again very soon. Just try to remember that you are strong enough to get through anything from difficult people to temporary loneliness.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter