If you’re interested, here’s a link to a book on the subject of narcissistic personality disorder: https://amzn.to/3PbfsJq
~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn
*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours 
*
It has been a little while since my last post here. Between a welcome end-of-summer holiday and other happenings, I took some time away from writing. However, I have many topics that have been rolling around in my mind for future posts. If you are ever interested in having me create a post with regard to a specific topic, feel free to email me at na********************@***il.com. I’d be happy to look into your request and hopefully create something that you and others will find beneficial.
News: In an effort to be of further assistance and support to clients, I have returned to full-time university online with Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. I’m majoring in a Bachelor of Psychology program with the goal of ultimately obtaining a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology (with an institution that offers the program). Additionally, working within the benefits coverage system will allow more individuals to access my services and get the support they need. I’ll try to share some details of delving back into post-secondary education as my journey unfolds.
Check in for more posts soon. Don’t hesitate to touch base with me with post topics or to arrange an online or telephone appointment.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
Narcissistic parents; they aren’t what anyone would choose if we had a choice in the matter. They color so much of our lives in dark shades that aren’t easy to erase.
If you grew up in a household headed by a narcissist, whether you were a scapegoat or a golden child, my heart goes out to you. I get it because I lived it myself. Our childhoods were often filled with criticism, judgment, blaming, gaslighting, silent treatments, unattainable goals with constantly moving goalposts, lack of affection, dishonesty, physical abuse, and the list goes on. We could always count on our disordered parents (either two narcissists or a narcissist and an enabler/flying monkey) to create negative environments filled with all manner of difficult situations and emotions for us to try to cope with. One of the only things that most of us could always count on in a dysfunctional family system was that a new issue was around every corner.
Our life with a narcissistic parent shapes us in ways we did not ask for or want. They lead us down dark alleys to places where we eventually lack trust in others and ourselves, suffer low self-esteem and a total lack of confidence, isolate ourselves from the world, feel as though we’re unloved, always being judged and never measuring up, blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong within a 10-mile radius of us, and a never-ending list of behaviours and thoughts that challenge us to our very core.
As difficult as all of this is, we can find our path out from under the dark clouds. It takes hard work, introspection, courage and a strong support system but it’s more than possible and well worth it. There is a life of peace, self-love, self-care and happiness for us once we escape the negativity. How we do it is a matter of personal choice. There’s no contact, low contact, strong boundaries, and other techniques to assist us along the way. Therapy is always a good route to take (there are subsidized or free services available in many places), and a support system such as Natural Clarity Coaching can complement this work. It’s never simple, and often we need to distance ourselves from our family of origin in whatever way works for us, but if we take those first few steps and gather some momentum, nothing is impossible.
So, sons and daughters raised in narcissistic families, if you haven’t already started down the path to emotional freedom, peace and empowerment, consider prioritizing yourself and taking those steps. Baby steps are fine. Whatever you can muster. Maybe start with some small self-care measures and looking for a therapist (preferably one who is well-informed regarding narcissism and C-PTSD) to reach out to. Take it from there. The little steps will eventually become bigger ones as you move through this journey. You will find your way. And it will be well worth every step you take to get there.
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
For everyone who finds special occasions like today, Father’s Day, challenging for any reason, I get it. If special occasions also feel like walking on egg shells (or possibly landmines), I completely understand where you’re coming from. This can be particularly so when narcissists are in the picture.
If your family of origin involved narcissism, special occasions were likely incredibly challenging to deal with from early in your life and probably remained that way throughout your childhood and into adulthood. Maybe the narcissistically-inclined parent was your mom, or maybe your dad, or maybe both of your parents. Whoever it was, it’s highly likely that special occasions were often drama-filled, emotionally draining and confusing events during your childhood and possibly into adulthood.
When it comes to narcissists, they feel the need to always be the center of attention, even on special occasions that have nothing to do with them. They will cause drama, upheaval and emotional upset by whatever means necessary. Maybe they’re sulking because the day isn’t about them but they’re making it appear as though someone slighted them and caused the issue. Or maybe they’re starting arguments because they want to take the attention away from the special occasion. It’s possible that they will criticize the people who are trying to celebrate by saying that their efforts aren’t good enough or they’ve done everything wrong. Whatever it may be, narcissists very commonly ruin special occasions, all for the need to be the constant focus of the family. And that toxic, narcissistic energy often attaches to special occasions and can bring apprehension and anxiety to other family members year after year after year. What is Mom going to do to ruin everything this year? What will Dad say to upset everyone so that he can storm off and then be free to do something he’d rather be doing?
Rather than being happy and enjoyable celebrations, special occasions in narcissistic families are often the exact opposite. They are prone to being stressful, anxiety-provoking, emotionally taxing situations that come to be dreaded every year rather than looked forward to. The narcissist’s negativity permeates virtually every special day circled on the calendar, particularly if that day doesn’t happen to be all about them. And even if it is ‘their’ day (say, a birthday), they will regularly ruin those with complaints of the celebration not being lavish enough, or no one got them what they wanted as a gift, or someone else was getting more attention than them for five minutes, or they simply feel like sulking and keeping everyone guessing by not divulging what it’s all about, and so on. There is no winning when it comes to narcissists and special events.
So, is there any way to get through these times as unscathed as possible? In the event that you decide to make a call to your family or drop by for a visit, be emotionally and mentally prepared. Know your limits as to what you are and are not willing to discuss with them. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ or ‘that’s something I don’t wish to talk about’. Boundaries are important. If you are pushed and bullied to engage in a discussion that you are uncomfortable with, it’s fine to let your parent(s)/family members know that you need to end the conversation and politely say goodbye. If you are in-person and this situation arises, let them know that you’re leaving and be on your way. No apologies, no excuses, no justifications necessary. You have the right to protect yourself and your wellbeing. Don’t allow the guilt trips or aggressiveness to sway you to stay and possibly be verbally/emotionally abused or attacked.
Obviously being low contact or no contact with your family of origin is a sure way to keep yourself safe and avoid negativity and possible verbal/emotional attacks. If you do reach out to a narcissistic parent or an enabling parent on a day such as today and a phone call or visit is not on the table (only do what you feel comfortable doing), texting and/or emailing are always viable options for sending a message. It’s okay to let your parent know you’re thinking of them in a way that allows you to avoid being drawn into an emotional maze. Sometimes it comes down to what you feel you need to do (touch base with a parent even if it’s difficult, etc.) rather than what you believe anyone else expects from you. If you’re currently in therapy or self-directed recovery work from narcissistic abuse, there is no need to set yourself back by opening doors that need to be closed either temporarily or permanently. Do what you feel safe doing. Maybe reaching out simply isn’t an option for you today; that’s absolutely fine. This is your decision and there is no right or wrong here.
Another way to cope with special occasions fraught with confusion, emotional upheaval and frustration is to create new traditions on your own or with friends, a partner, children, etc. Start a new chapter with these celebrations and rewrite what they will look like for you. Do what you can to let go of the negative energy that has been attached to these dates (likely for years or decades) and make them whatever you want them to be.
Above all else, it’s helpful to keep in mind that narcissists are extremely similar to a tired, grouchy toddler who didn’t get their own way. This may involve sulking, tantrums, childish outbursts and more, but you need to consider the source. Narcissists are disordered individuals who are protecting and seeking to feed their fragile egos at all costs. Not being the center of attention is viewed as a loss from their perspective and they will react in the most immature ways, along with lashing out and attacking those they feel have slighted them by not having their focus on the narcissist at all times. When we can understand the dynamics at play with narcissists, it can make dealing with them much less challenging. Also, keeping our own emotions out of the mix is a beneficial action. Don’t take their behaviour personally and try not to allow them to ‘get a rise out of you’.
So, Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! To everyone for whom this day and other special occasions are difficult, I wish you the best in getting through it with grace and strength. For everyone (ACONs – Adult Children of Narcissists) who grew up in a dysfunctional family headed by a narcissist (or narcissists), step up the self-care if necessary in order to stay strong and healthy, and only do what you feel comfortable with. Not everyone understands or could even begin to understand the dynamics of the relationships within your family of origin (FOO) and the narcissist(s) at the helm, so it’s best to take all of the well-meaning societal messages with a grain of salt. No one has the right to push you into contact with someone simply because that someone happens to be a parent or family member. Listen to your intuition and only do what is right for you. Whatever feels right for you, trust it, embrace it and move forward with the knowledge that you’re doing your best and that’s all that matters.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter
The answer to that question is: Yes, most narcissists will try to win you back if you leave them. However, they don’t do this for the same reasons that non-narcissists might. A major misstep is to believe that a narcissist thinks and feels like you do. In reality, they are coming from a completely different mindset; a mindset where winning someone back is about just that – winning. As always, their actions have absolutely nothing to do with you. Their actions are based on protecting their fragile egos by controlling everything and everyone around them.
Narcissists will use the tactic known as ‘love bombing’. Here, they engage in larger-than-life demonstrations of attention and affection in an attempt to influence someone. In the case of someone leaving them, they will love bomb to get that person back in order to feel better about themselves after being left and to regain control of the person in question. Many narcissists will actually win someone back just so that they can abandon them and then move on with their next victim.
Hoovering is a similar tactic used by narcissists. Just like the vacuum cleaner brand, Hoover, the disordered person will attempt to ‘hoover’/suck in the person who left them and bring them back into the abusive relationship. They may make promises that they will never cause any more hurt, that they will change, that everything will be different this time. This can all appear to be incredibly believable and sincere. Narcissists are generally very good actors and it’s not difficult to get drawn back into their web. The unfortunate part is that it’s all an act. Nothing will improve, and if it does, it won’t stay that way for long. It is all based on empty promises in an effort to manipulate, control and further abuse a partner, family member or friend, etc.
So, yes, narcissists will typically try to win you back if you leave them. But it’s not for reasons based on love, seeing the error in their ways, changing their negative behaviour, caring or anything positive. It’s all about winning, maintaining control, keeping their ‘supply’ (your attention for the purpose of their ego-stroking) intact, making sure that they maintain a certain image for the world around them, and ultimately avoiding ‘narcissistic injury’ (the experience of narcissists when they lose, are criticized or abandoned).
If you are thinking about, in the process of, or have recently left a narcissist, it’s helpful to keep in mind the information set out above. There’s no doubt that many victims of narcissists go back to them at least once after leaving. That’s a common and understandable occurrence. It doesn’t suggest any weakness or lack of intelligence; it’s related to being a human who wants to feel loved and to not feel that they have been wasting precious time in a particular relationship. Never feel ashamed or weak if you return to a narcissist and then find yourself in the same situation in not too long. Removing oneself from narcissistic abuse happens in stages as we become increasingly aware. And wanting to believe that someone you love could change for the better is not a negative mark on your character. Believing in the potential for change and love is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, not everyone in our lives is up for the challenge. That’s their issue, not ours.
Armed with information about narcissistic tactics can help, though, to get us through the process of walking away when we feel it’s time and having the awareness of what would likely happen if we were to return. Knowledge is power. And as I mention often, asking ourselves honestly how this person truly makes us feel is an informative gauge to use in our decision-making with regard to the relationship. Do you feel loved or like a burden in their life? Are you treated with respect or disdain? Do you feel supported or sabotaged? Are your accomplishments/talents/skills encouraged and appreciated or is a never-ending list of alleged flaws being regularly highlighted? Do you feel comfortable in their presence or as though you’re walking on eggshells? Can you be yourself around them or do you need to filter or change who you are in order to be even slightly accepted and not constantly condescended to? Look at the entirety of your relationship and assess it overall with these types of questions. Honesty is integral. And listen to not only your mind but to your heart and soul. Tune out all external voices and opinions and tune in to yourself. The answers are always there when you’re ready to hear them.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and Twitter
The realization of the fact that you’ve been experiencing narcissistic abuse is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, your eyes have been opened and you are now aware, which offers you the opportunity to make well-informed choices for yourself. On the other hand, this awareness often brings with it feelings of anger, regret, sadness, shame, isolation, confusion and so on. It basically takes your emotions on a whirlwind roller coaster ride.
My advice is to allow yourself to fully feel the array of emotions. They will be intense and sometimes overwhelming but you need to feel them in order to move on to processing them. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, etc. If you feel the need to talk with someone about your journey, do your best to turn to someone you know you can trust. This could be a family member, friend, support system such as Natural Clarity Coaching, or a counsellor/therapist. It’s not advisable to share your feelings with your abuser because that will simply open more doors for them to continue abusing you and playing mind games. Clarity is incredibly important at this time, so not allowing the narcissist to muddy the waters is beneficial. Yes, you’ll want to tell them that you’ve figured them out and that you’re incredibly hurt and upset. Just remember that these are people who lack empathy and compassion; they will never sincerely take accountability for their actions let alone offer up an apology or anything else that might make you feel less damaged. Plus, their goal is to continue to control you and carry on with your focus being on them, so keeping your feelings quiet from this person is usually the best policy. Find whatever trustworthy and helpful support systems you can while you’re moving through this part of the journey. Of course, if you prefer to do this solo, by all means, do. Whatever works for you. If you want to but can’t find anyone (or even if you can but could use more connections), online support groups can be incredibly helpful. There is something comforting and empowering about being able to read posts, write posts or comments if you want, involving people who have been or are currently in a similar place as you in a relationship with a narcissist (parent, partner, friend, etc.), It helps with gaining insight, feeling understood without having to explain yourself, seeing all of the parallels in the narcissists’ behaviours, and gaining strength in the knowledge that you didn’t cause this situation. In fact, many people begin to see that most narcissists seem to operate by the same play book! Sad but true.
When you’re with the narcissist or by yourself in these early days of awareness, bring in calming and self-soothing practices such as deep breathing, mindfulness (being present in the moment without judgment), engaging in hobbies, getting out into nature, exercising, to name a few. Try to keep your mind from ruminating and replaying all of the negativity. That will just drag you into a potential state of depression and/or anxiety. And it’s okay to feel anger towards the narcissist but advisable to keep it under wraps. Now is the time to engage in self-care in order to keep yourself strong on all levels. Educate yourself on narcissism and how it has impacted you. Put some time into getting back in touch with yourself, your needs, your hopes and dreams. Focus on the future and what and who YOU want in your life from now on. You have arrived at a fork in your journey’s path and you have options from which to choose. Make plans for how you will deal with your new view of the relationship in question. Yes, there will no doubt be days that it all seems like too much and you might feel utter sadness and loss. You might even try to convince yourself that you’re wrong about this person and that you should give them a second chance. That’s perfectly ‘normal’.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, a great gauge for relationships is honestly taking a close look at how you truly feel when you’re around someone. Does the way they treat you make you feel good about yourself? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Do you feel cared for and important? Or does their behaviour make you feel unloved, unappreciated, and generally less-than? Is there often an air of condescension and disdain from this person when you interact with them? Do you regularly feel fearful in their presence, like you’re walking on eggshells, or worried that they could abandon you at any moment? Do you feel manipulated, controlled and/or under attack and as though you’re always making them upset and/or angry? Asking yourself these questions and answering them with 100 percent honesty can be a great reality check, especially if you have recently wondered if or decided that someone in your life is abusive towards you.
In summary, here are possible steps (in their simplest form) towards recovery:
Wishing you well on your journey!
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, Twitter
Narcissists use a variety of tactics to get what they want, including control over or silencing others. Here are just a few of the main tactics together with ways to combat them.
Projection – Narcissists refuse to see their own shortcomings because it damages their already fragile egos. As a result, they will accuse others of their own traits and behaviours in order to displace these things from themselves. How to stay strong: Don’t project your good traits onto the narcissist (expecting them to be like you is dangerous and will be disappointing), and don’t accept their negative ones as your own.
Gaslighting – This is a technique used by narcissists to cause distortion and erosion of other people’s sense of reality. They will suggest that an event didn’t happen or that it was all a figment of someone’s imagination and so on. Eventually, people who are gaslighted regularly will begin to question themselves and their sanity. How to stay strong: Make a point of grounding yourself in your own reality. It helps to keep a journal or discuss things with friends or members of a support group.
Ridiculous Conversations – Narcissists love to argue and it often turns a conversation into complete and utter nonsense. At the root of it, these people are arguing with themselves, not you. How to stay strong: A good option is to cut the conversation short and walk away.
All or Nothing/Black and White Thinking and Generalizations – “You never do anything right”. “You always make me angry”. “That group of people are always a problem”. Narcissistically-inclined individuals make blanket statements and far-reaching generalizations about anyone and everyone. How to stay strong: Try not to engage. Walk away wherever possible.
Making Other People’s Thoughts and Feelings Appear Absurd to Invalidate Their Rights to Have Them – If a narcissist can make someone believe that their feelings and thoughts are crazy and absurd, they can eventually wear them down until they believe they aren’t deserving of those things. How to stay strong: Again, try to stay grounded in your own reality and recognize that your feelings and thoughts are relevant and important.
Triangulation – I have written previous posts on the subject of triangulation. Triangulation involves a narcissist who won’t deal directly with someone but instead brings in a third party to do their dirty work for them, thus forming a triangle. How to stay strong: If you feel you need to respond to a third party acting on behalf of a narcissist, try to keep it short and to the point. Historically, the less you engage, the better it will be for you.
Smear Campaigns, Stalking – I have also written posts on smear campaigns in the past. This is a situation in which a narcissist targets you by speaking ill of you as an alleged aggressor while making themselves appear to be the victim, and they will spew their lies to anyone who is willing to listen, including your partners, children, friends, coworkers, relatives and so on. The narcissist may also stalk you in-person or online in order to find information with which to begin new attacks against you. How to stay strong: Again, a less-is-better approach is typically beneficial. If people confront you about your supposed negative behaviour towards a narcissist, a short “There are two sides to every story” or “If you knew me, you would know better” or something similar can be helpful. Silence is another option. Eventually, most people figure out that the person who launched the smear campaign against you is a narcissist and not to be believed.
I will move on to Part 2 on this subject of manipulative tactics to silence people in a future post. In the meantime, I recommend that everyone be aware of these tactics so as to (hopefully) not fall prey to them. When we educate ourselves regarding narcissistic behaviour, we give ourselves the tools to recognize and stay safe from their disordered actions.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
If you are currently in a situation where you have to endure interactions with a narcissist, here are a few ways to stay strong, balanced and uphold your boundaries:
When it comes to dealing with narcissists, learning the tools that work best for you to stay strong and not be drawn in is a great step to take for your own wellbeing and further developing coping strategies. If you would like a support system to help you with these strategies, contact us as set out below.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
One of the most difficult situations I encountered after making the decision to leave my alcoholic and narcissistic spouse was finding my way out. We shared children, a home, vehicles and other assets, debts and several years of marriage. All of it felt incredibly overwhelming, and my fears and feelings ran the gamut from financial (many issues on this level, which left me feeling stuck) to emotional. The people in my life who knew about it at that time chose to ignore it – read that as my ‘narcissist of origin’ enjoyed watching me struggle. Others had no idea what I was dealing with because shame and fear kept me from disclosing the situation.
At a complete loss and feeling very fragile, I reached out to a local women’s shelter and thankfully found people willing to support me through the process of leaving an abusive partner. I was placed with an amazing social worker with the shelter who provided counselling without any fees (of note, CAMH is another organization that offers free-of-charge counselling – I spent a bit of time with them as well – and some private counselling services do have subsidized sessions based on income), helped me create a safe exit plan which could involve law enforcement if necessary, and made sure that every available resource was discussed. I can’t speak for all shelters but this particular one, whether you actually stayed there or just needed help from the outside, offered funds to pay for moving expenses (and help with the actual move) and initial rent and utility set-up bills as well as readying a home with some furnishings, groceries and other essential needs. If you require assistance and have no idea where to turn, don’t be afraid to contact a local shelter or other social service agency and ask what they might be able to help you with. There are so many people out there who are ready and willing to help.
I also attended a free legal resource centre in order to discuss with a lawyer my rights, obligations and creation of a separation agreement. In addition, a few months after leaving, I took the step to file the agreement, which had been signed by both my spouse and I in front of a witness, with the courts and then FRO (Financial Responsibility Office in Ontario) in order to ensure that child support payments would be made, which helped in the avoidance of struggles over it with my ex-spouse. Unfortunately, off the start, the child support was used as a tool to further abuse me both financially and emotionally. There were threats of it not being paid at all, or messages about delays in payment because his needs should come first, etc., which is why I took the step of filing the necessary documents and setting everything up with FRO. I refused to be further abused by or in regular contact with this person so I did my research and found yet another resource to facilitate my transition to freedom. Again, the resources are there but it’s often necessary to conduct research and then advocate for yourself to get where you need to be.
This is only a brief version of the steps I took in leaving. My goal in writing about it is to help with awareness that no one is alone when they choose to leave a narcissistic partner or family member. There are supportive resources available on many levels to aid individuals through the difficult transition of escaping from an abuser.
My advice is to not allow a lack of funds to hold you somewhere that you have chosen not to be. Reach out to friends, family, organizations – anyone you feel safe to discuss the situation with. They can help you and provide needed supports to move forward to a better, safer and more peaceful and healthy life.
Trust me – I know how grim and hopeless it feels when you have been abused by a narcissistic partner or family member, you have made the decision to end the relationship, and then you have no idea where to turn or what to do next. You’re likely already in a place of severe physical and mental exhaustion and possibly struggling with anxiety and depression as well as fear of retaliation, not to mention worrying about a major life change. Putting one foot in front of the other can feel like a significant challenge, let alone making plans and finding the means – financial, emotional, etc. – to leave and start over. My experience is that once I found support and began to feel an inkling of hope, momentum, strength and courage slowly but surely built up from there. Creating a safe plan of action and goals with my social worker gave me something to work towards. Even though I went though most of the initial part of the transition in somewhat of a fog and doing most of it on auto-pilot, I knew deep inside, despite my fears and apprehension, that a better life awaited my children and I. Turns out I was right. It didn’t happen overnight and the challenges obviously did not end immediately upon me leaving my spouse, but in time everything began to improve and my life changed in ways I had never imagined possible.
I created Natural Clarity Coaching to be an affordable support system, particularly for anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse and recovery, regardless of what stage of it they may be in. My fees are also on a sliding scale based on income (on the honor system – no need to divulge your financials). If you would like to know more, please don’t hesitate to contact me at na********************@***il.com. Initial consultations are free of charge, completely confidential and without any obligation. You don’t need to stay in an abusive situation because you believe there is nowhere to go, potentially a lack of funds to get you there, and no one to assist you, and it isn’t necessary to experience the processes of deciding to leave, leaving or recovery, without support. Reach out for whatever resources you need in order to get yourself to a better place and to further grow and thrive once you’re there.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
One of the regular themes in my posts is to listen to your gut/intuition. Another one that is of importance for everybody, but particularly if you are experiencing narcissistic abuse, is to listen to your body. Both of these things aim to keep us safe and healthy.
Stress doesn’t just take a toll within our minds in the form of depression, anxiety and other mental wellness symptoms; it also manifests itself in our bodies in negative ways. High blood pressure, stomach problems, headaches/migraines, muscle armoring, and the list goes on. Our minds, emotions and bodies are intricately connected; when one part is suffering, it seeps into the other parts.
Our bodies are always communicating to us about physical issues. The key is to listen and try to make positive changes that will lend themselves to healing and stability. For instance, when I recognized that my mind, soul and body were suffering from a relationship with one of the narcissists in my life (who I didn’t realize was a narcissist at the time) several years ago, I made the difficult decision to break ties with them. (And I’ve done it more than once since then.) In all honesty, I had begun to feel as though I was ‘losing my mind’, that my emotions were on a constant roller coaster ride, and that my body was literally breaking down more every day. I was in rough shape and at a point where I was terrified about what might happen to me if I didn’t take action. Stress from narcissistic abuse was constantly eating away at me from the inside. I was quickly slipping into a space that was anything but beneficial for me. The fear of becoming seriously ill eventually outweighed everything else.
Once I disconnected and found increasing amounts of peace, everything began turning around. I felt better on all levels. This all came about with a lot of therapy, introspection, mindfulness and hard work but it was much easier to do when clarity began to return to my mind because I wasn’t always operating in survival mode. Then self-care began to grow as a priority and the physical symptoms of stress from abuse began to wane. There’s no doubt in my mind that I saved my own life from losing years by listening to my intuition and body and then making choices that led the way to healing myself holistically.
It’s crucial to ‘hear’ the messages from your body, both good and bad. Our bodies are on a constant mission to maintain homeostasis (balance) but when they become overwhelmed, they let us know, through subtle signs to start – depending on the individual, for example, an ache here, a rash there, elevated blood pressure daily headaches, etc. – followed by increasingly obvious and gradually more severe symptoms and unavoidable signals that change is needed in order to remedy the situation.
The overall message is that making regular self-care a priority is incredibly important for all of us human beings, and always being open to listening to your body’s messages will help to ensure your continued wellbeing. Just like following your intuition is typically a good habit, hearing what your body is telling you is equally as vital to your overall health.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
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