Dementia is an umbrella term used to describe symptoms caused by disorders affecting the brain. For instance, Alzheimer’s Disease is a form of dementia. Dementia destroys brain cell connections, which eventually leads to cell death and changes the way the brain works. With ongoing cell death, communication between the brain and various parts of the body is broken. Over time, the brain atrophies and shrinks.
Persons living with dementia typically have symptoms which include:
Memory loss
Changes in mood/behaviour
Thinking difficulties
Language difficulties
These can all impair the ability to carry out tasks of daily living.
Additionally, dementia is progressive and there is not yet a cure. However, there are treatments and lifestyle factors that have the potential to slow its progression. Life expectancy for persons living with dementia is an average of eight to 10 years, although there are those who may live a shorter or longer duration.
To decrease your risk of developing dementia, it’s important to consider implementing lifestyle choices (for those risks that are modifiable) that help to protect the brain. Here are the main risk factors for dementia:
Obesity
Excessive alcohol consumption
Smoking
Poor diet
Lack of physical activity
Diabetes
High blood pressure
Depression
Social isolation
Hearing loss
Low levels of cognitive engagement
Air pollution
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
Genetics
Down Syndrome (50% will develop Alzheimer’s Disease)
One of the challenging things about having a dysfunctional family, particularly when we are keeping our distance or are completely no-contact with them, is seeing how functional families interact. Personally, since recognizing that I have always been the family scapegoat and realizing the abuse that has taken place over the course of my life, I’ve shed my fair share of tears. And those tears aren’t just because of what my family is; they’re also because of what they aren’t.
Functional families typically operate with love, open communication, respect, caring, kindness, fairness, and a plethora of other positive feelings and behaviours. They want the best for each other, to show encouragement and support, and to be there for one another through thick and thin. All of this is in direct contrast to families with, for example, a narcissist at the helm, an enabling spouse by their side, a golden child, and a scapegoat child. Virtually all of the positives are replaced by negatives. Lack of love and communication, disrespect, criticisms and judgments, selfishness, mind games, sometimes physical abuse, and so on.
So, yes, it can be a challenge to see other people with functional family members and healthy family systems. It looks so amazing and it’s difficult to not feel that we’ve been robbed of these types of relationships and experiences. It brings feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment, hurt, and confusion. When it’s so easy to choose love, caring, and peace, why do some people need to complicate life with chronic hate, bias, dishonesty, and conflict? Here’s the thing: they have issues. Big issues. It could be a need to be in control (even if that requires constant manipulation, triangulation, and deception), a constant need to feel good about themselves and boost their fragile egos by putting others down, or any number of dysfunctions. Have these people been hurt by something in their past that has made them this way? More than likely. But that doesn’t excuse their behaviour. They have choices. Rather than continuing or creating intergenerational trauma, they could be the one to make a positive difference in their own lives and the lives of those around them.
In any event, there it is. Having a dysfunctional family of origin has its fair share of struggles. Acknowledging it for what it is can be beneficial. And knowing that we have the choice to have functional relationships with others in our lives is a superpower. It may never be possible to have that with our parents and/or siblings or extended family members, but don’t despair, because there are endless opportunities to have amazing bonds with other like-minded people in this world.
What’s in a name? Honestly, a lot! And that’s particularly true when the name we’re being called is negative and it’s coming from someone we care about.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you grew up with a parent (with narcissistic traits and/or emotional immaturity, etc.) and they regularly referred to you as ‘average’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘foolish’ or a ‘loser’. They may also have had a habit of comparing you to others in unfavourable ways. “She’s so much prettier/smarter/nicer than you” and so on. So, this is your parent saying unpleasant things. In most cases, when we’re children, we trust our parents and believe that they ‘know’ more than we do. We also count on them to provide for us and keep us safe. It’s a vulnerable position to be in, particularly if our parent(s) have issues that are projected onto us. And so we tend to accept their labels as accurate. Of additional note are situations where an enabling parent simply goes along with the toxic parent and/or doesn’t attempt to protect us from the abuse. That’s a disappointment that adds to the struggle of the situation, without a doubt.
Being treated as though we are ‘less than’ or just plain useless is tough on our psyche. We take in the negativity and we typically begin internally labelling ourselves the same way. We might act out because we may decide to be who important people in our lives appear to think we are, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. And we see ourselves in negative ways that impact our lives in a variety of ways, from self-perception and confidence to academic underachievements, issues in relationships, and mental health issues like depression and anxiety, to name just a few.
The fact of the matter is that we aren’t deserving of the negative labels that our dysfunctional parent(s) (using the term loosely) may place on us. It is, in fact, our parent(s) who have deficiencies, such as fragile egos or emotional immaturity, and a chronic need to put down others to feel better about themselves. As for the enabling parent, they’re often trying to keep the heat off themselves from their toxic partner and so they go along with everything to maintain the f**ked up status quo. Massive betrayal of their scapegoated/abused children but, hey, they saved themselves and isn’t that what counts (sarcasm meter going off the charts)? At the most basic of levels, our parents should love us and be our biggest fans, particularly in our childhood and young adult years. And at the very least, if they can’t be positive and supportive, they shouldn’t ever be causing us damage of any kind. But that’s simply the nature of some human beings, unfortunately. Hurt people hurt people. They’re toxic.
This is simplified advice, and there are many ways to counteract this type of toxicity, but, for now, this is what needs to be said:
Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Know your worth. Stay strong. Hold your head high. This is YOUR life. Don’t let others, no matter who they are, negatively impact what your future may hold. Surround yourself with people who care about you, support you, and are beacons of positivity. You’ve got this.
Complex PTSD, or C-PTSD, is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repetitive trauma, often occurring in situations where the individual feels trapped, such as in cases of ongoing abuse or captivity. This condition involves difficulties in emotional regulation, self-perception, and relationships with others, among other symptoms. C-PTSD can be the outcome of ongoing narcissistic abuse, which can lead to other issues like depression and issues with food. It is a massive threat to one’s health and wellbeing.
Coping-motivated eating, also known as emotional eating, is a behavior where individuals consume food as a way to manage their emotions, whether they are stress, sadness, anxiety, or other feelings. For those with C-PTSD, emotional eating can be a common coping mechanism, as food may provide a temporary sense of comfort or distraction from painful emotions and memories.
The Relationship between C-PTSD and Coping-Motivated Eating
Emotional Regulation: Individuals with C-PTSD often struggle with regulating their emotions. Eating can serve as a way to numb or distract from intense feelings or to temporarily boost mood through the release of endorphins.
Self-Perception and Body Image: People with C-PTSD might have a distorted self-image or feelings of worthlessness, which can contribute to unhealthy eating patterns. They may use food to cope with negative self-perception or to punish themselves.
Control: For those who feel a lack of control in their lives due to their trauma, eating can become a way to exert some form of control, whether it’s through restrictive eating or binge eating.
Coping Strategies
While coping-motivated eating can provide temporary relief, it often leads to negative physical and emotional consequences in the long term. Here are some healthier strategies for managing the symptoms of C-PTSD:
Therapy: Working with a therapist who specializes in trauma can help individuals process their experiences, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve emotional regulation. Approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be particularly effective.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices that promote mindfulness can help individuals become more aware of their emotions and reduce the impulse to turn to food for comfort. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can be beneficial.
Support Groups: Joining a support group for individuals with C-PTSD or those struggling with emotional eating can provide a sense of community and understanding, making it easier to cope with difficult emotions.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Regular physical activity, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet can improve overall well-being and reduce the reliance on food as a coping mechanism. Engaging in hobbies and activities that bring joy and fulfillment can also help distract from emotional pain.
Journaling: Keeping a journal can be a useful way to express and process emotions. Writing about feelings and triggers can provide insights into patterns of emotional eating and help develop alternative coping strategies.
Professional Help
If coping-motivated eating is significantly impacting your health or quality of life, seeking professional help is important. A registered dietitian or nutritionist can help develop a healthy eating plan, while a mental health professional can address the underlying emotional issues related to C-PTSD.
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References
Mason SM, Frazier PA, Austin SB, Harlow BL, Jackson B, Raymond NC, Rich- Edwards JW. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Symptoms and Problematic Overeating Behaviors in Young Men and Women. Ann Behav Med. 2017 Dec;51(6):822-832. doi: 10.1007/s12160-017-9905-1. PMID: 28425019; PMCID: PMC5648630.
Alzheimer’s Disease is the most common form of dementia/cognitive decline. Cognitive activities are the mental processes involved in knowing, learning, and understanding things. Dementia has an approximate life expectancy of eight to 10 years. People who are diagnosed in their 80s or 90s may have fewer years. Others may live longer. Preventing dementia involves a combination of lifestyle changes, health management, and cognitive activities. Here are some strategies that can help reduce the risk:
1. Healthy Diet
Nutrition: Emphasize fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fish, and healthy fats like olive oil. Always check with your healthcare provider prior to making major dietary changes.
Avoid Processed Foods: Minimize consumption of sugars and unhealthy fats.
2. Regular Physical Activity
Aerobic Exercise: Activities like walking, swimming, or cycling for at least 150 minutes per week.
Strength Training: Incorporate weight training or resistance training exercises at least twice a week.
3. Cognitive Stimulation
Mental Exercises: Engage in activities that challenge your brain, such as puzzles, reading, or learning new skills.
Social Interaction: Stay socially active through clubs, volunteering, or maintaining relationships with friends and family.
Music: Learn to play (or continue playing) a musical instrument. A twin study by Walsh & Brayne (2021) found that there was a 64 percent lower chance of developing either mild cognitive impairment or dementia in people who are musicians.
4. Healthy Sleep
Good Sleep Hygiene: Aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep per night and maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
Treat Sleep Disorders: Address issues like sleep apnea or insomnia with the help of healthcare professionals.
5. Manage Chronic Conditions
Blood Pressure: Keep blood pressure in check through diet, exercise, and medication if necessary.
Diabetes Control: Maintain blood sugar levels with a healthy lifestyle and medication if needed.
Cholesterol Levels: Monitor and manage cholesterol through diet, exercise, and medication.
6. Avoiding Harmful Habits
No Smoking: Quit smoking, as it increases the risk of vascular problems which can contribute to dementia.
Limit Alcohol: Keep alcohol consumption within recommended limits.
7. Mental Health
Stress Management: Practice stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness, yoga, or meditation.
Depression Treatment: Seek treatment for depression, as it can affect cognitive function.
8. Regular Health Check-Ups
Medical Screenings: Regular visits to the doctor for health screenings can catch and address issues early.
Hearing: Address hearing loss, as untreated hearing problems are linked to cognitive decline.
9. Education and Lifelong Learning
Continuous Learning: Engage in lifelong learning and educational activities to keep your brain active. Take courses or start a degree program.
10. Protect the Head
Avoid Head Injuries: Use helmets and seatbelts to protect against head injuries, which are linked to dementia.
By integrating these strategies into your daily life, you can help reduce the risk of developing dementia and promote overall brain health.
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References
Walsh, S. and Brayne, C.E. (2021), Does playing a musical instrument prevent dementia?. Alzheimer’s Dement., 17: e049684. https://doi.org/10.1002/alz.049684
This is an issue that can affect anyone, but it can often be found in those who have experienced narcissistic abuse (ie. scapegoats). It is also one that impacts our health and wellbeing, so it is important to be aware of it and take steps to cope with it.
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud,” despite evidence of their competence and success. This phenomenon is common among high-achievers and can affect people in various fields and stages of their careers. Here are some key aspects of imposter syndrome:
Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome:
Self-Doubt: Persistent fear of not being good enough, despite external evidence of competence.
Attributing Success to Luck: Belief that successes are due to luck or external factors, rather than one’s own abilities.
Fear of Exposure: Anxiety about being “found out” or exposed as a fraud by peers or supervisors.
Overworking: Compensating for feelings of inadequacy by working excessively hard.
Discounting Praise: Downplaying positive feedback and achievements.
Causes of Imposter Syndrome:
Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards and being overly critical of oneself.
Family Expectations: Pressure from family to succeed, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Coming from a dysfunctional family with narcissistic activity poses challenges.
New Challenges: Entering a new role, job, or field where the individual feels out of their depth.
Social Comparisons: Comparing oneself to others and feeling inferior.
Types of Imposter Syndrome:
The Perfectionist: Believes nothing they do is ever good enough.
The Superwoman/Superman: Feels the need to push themselves to work harder than everyone else.
The Natural Genius: Believes they should be able to handle everything with ease.
The Soloist: Prefers to work alone, fearing asking for help will reveal their incompetence.
The Expert: Feels they need to know everything before starting a task.
Coping Strategies:
Recognize and Acknowledge: Acknowledge that imposter syndrome is common and that you’re not alone in experiencing it.
Talk About It: Discuss feelings with trusted friends, mentors, or a therapist.
Focus on Achievements: Keep a record of positive feedback, achievements, and compliments.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Actively challenge and reframe self-doubt and negative thoughts.
Set Realistic Goals: Set attainable goals and celebrate small successes.
Accept Imperfection: Embrace the fact that no one is perfect and making mistakes is part of learning.
Imposter syndrome can be managed with self-awareness and proactive strategies. It’s important to recognize that many successful people experience these feelings and that they do not reflect one’s true abilities or potential. We need to celebrate all our successes and talents and give credit to ourselves where it’s due.
So, what are some of the factors that can cause inflammation?
Poor nutrition: This can occur through the regular consumption of ultra-processed foods as well as sugary foods and drinks
Sedentary lifestyle: A lack of exercise or daily movement are the issues.
Poor quality of sleep and chronic sleep deprivation
Chronic stress and anxiety
Alcohol, nicotine, and drug misuse and abuse
And what are the common symptoms that would suggest inflammation is occuring?
Fatigue
Brain fog
Inexplicable weight gain and water retention
Sluggishness
Sleep disorders
Chronic pain
Gastrointestinal issues and distress
Depression, anxiety, irritability, or other mood-related disorders
Elevated heart rate and blood glucose levels
High cortisol levels (Fallbrook Medical Center, 2022)
Lastly, what are some treatment methods for inflammation?
According to Fallbrook Medical Center (2022), that question can be answered as follows:
“Cleaning up your diet and adding nourishing, nutrient-rich superfoods to your meals that will promote your overall health and wellbeing, keeping inflammation at bay and fighting infections and free radicals from creating any more harm.
Increasing the level of exercise to improve blood flow and lymphatic drainage, increasing nutrient absorption and aiding in recovery.
Paying attention to sleep quality and implementing routines that will help you get restful and deep sleep.
Implementing stress-reducing techniques such as meditation, journaling, or epsom salt baths to help your body easily transfer from fight-or-flight mode to rest-and-digest, promoting recovery, rest, repair, and recharge in every cell of your body.
Anti-inflammatory supplements such as curcumin, omega 3 fatty acids, and even spices like ginger and cayenne pepper”.
When we’re looking at improving or maintaining our wellness, inflammation is a crucial aspect to keep in mind. We aren’t powerless over what occurs within our bodies. Sometimes it may feel that way, but there are almost always steps we can take to improve our health and wellness. Plus, it’s important to speak with health care professionals about these subjects, especially with regard to supplements and exercise plans.
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References
Fallbrook Medical Center. (2022, June 7). Inflammation Is the Root Cause of Many Diseases. FMC. https://www.fallbrookmedicalcenter.com/inflammation-is-the-root-cause-of-many-diseases/
Have you ever heard of Yale University Psychologist Stanley Milgram and his famous obedience experiments? (This is the link to a short YouTube video, if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBDkJ-Nc3Ig)
Here’s some context to start with. In 1961, the trial of Adolf Eichmann concluded in Jerusalem. Eichmann was a German bureaucrat who was responsible for following orders to transport Jewish people to concentration camps during the Holocaust.
As a Jewish individual himself, Milgram was intrigued by Eichmann’s unethical actions under Hitler’s reign. So he designed a study to determine the lengths to which people would go to show obedience and conform to authority.
In his experiment, Milgram brought in volunteer participants to teach ‘students’ in a word-pair memorization learning activity to allegedly observe how punishment influenced learning. While the participant teachers were unaware of the true purpose of the experiment (determining levels of obedience to an authority figure), the students were all part of it (confederates). The teachers and students were placed in separate rooms but connected by a microphone/speaker.
Each time a student made an error in their word pairing tests, the teacher was instructed by an individual in a lab coat to deliver an electric shock, starting at 15 volts and moving up in 15-volt increments. The highest possible voltage was 450 volts, a fatal amount for a shock. Obviously the students were not actually being shocked but the teachers were unaware of this fact.
From the level of 75 volts and onward, the students would scream when the punishment shock was administered. The teachers continued, at the instruction of the overseer of authority, despite being able to clearly hear the pained responses. They were continually told that it was necessary for them to continue and that no permanent tissue damage would occur for the student. Between 150 and 330 volts, the student complains of heart pain and vigorously protests the continuation of shocks. At 330 volts, the student states that they are unwilling to go on and then goes silent. Despite the students’ screams, the mentions of heart issues, a refusal to go on, and then complete silence, 65 percent of the participants continued to deliver shocks right up to the fatal 450 volt level. More than half of the participants followed instructions from an authority figure, despite the fact that it seemed as though the student was in pain and could possibly experience serious harm or death (Greenwood, 2018; Griggs, 2017).
So, the basic premise of Milgram’s experiment is that a typically ethical individual has the potential to find themselves under the influence of an authority figure who instructs them to act in an unethical way. Plain and simply put, there is an often automatic reaction of many people to be obedient when given instructions or orders by a person of authority. (Check out the Netflix show, “Don’t Pick Up the Phone” for an extreme demonstration of this.) Most of us are taught to be obedient and sometimes we don’t give compliance a second thought. The tricky part is, though, that there may be moral and ethical reasons for opposing instructions, regardless of who they originate from. When people do follow orders even when harm could come to another person or people, it could be viewed as the brain taking less ownership of actions performed under coercion.
This behaviour can apply to a situation, like narcissism in a dysfunctional family, where an abusive parent influences the other parent, and perhaps siblings, to be involved in the unmistakable mistreatment of a child.
Although other members of the family may not have behaved in an abusive fashion without the influence of the narcissist, abusive acts may become the family system norm and the other parent and siblings then become abusers by proxy. Think of the feeling, as a scapegoat, of being ganged up on by family members, with the narcissist pulling the strings, and everyone appears to think that it’s okay (“normal”) to behave that way towards you, despite the fact that it’s obviously not moral behaviour. External proxies may also be involved, such as extended family members or even teachers, friends, counsellors, or other individual in positions of authority, to various extents.
From understanding our own obedience and conformity behaviour, to that of others, Milgram’s controversial study shows us the potential for unethical behaviour in the face of authority or assertive figures. It pays to be self-aware and apply critical thinking, particularly in unfamiliar environments and situations.
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References
Greenwood, J. (2018, July 24). How Would People Behave in Milgram’s Experiment Today? Behavioral Scientist; Behavioral Scientist. https://behavioralscientist.org/how-would-people-behave-in-milgrams-experiment-today/
Griggs, R. A. (2017). Milgram’s Obedience Study: A Contentious Classic Reinterpreted. Teaching of Psychology, 44(1), 32-37. https://doi-org.librweb.laurentian.ca/10.1177/0098628316677644
Whether it’s within family, friends, a workplace, or other group environment, narcissists and toxic people can and will make use of herd mentality to accomplish their goals.
Herd mentality can be defined as when individuals adopt the beliefs, behaviours, or attitudes of the majority in a group, more often than not at the expense of their own judgment or individuality. People stop thinking about which direction they’re going or why they’re heading that way and, instead, focus simply on following.
Narcissists hold a lot of power over many people around them because everyone is trying to avoid being their target or some possibly haven’t yet realized the true colours of the narcissist. They may wrongly be convinced that the narcissist is a victim and that they are protecting or defending them from the targeted individual. These are the means by which herd mentality can enter the picture. When a narcissist chooses a scapegoat target, they will try to bring in as many other people as possible in order to bolster their ego and strengthen their smear campaign, such as flying monkeys (people — some of whom have narcissistic traits such as lack of empathy — who get caught up in whatever the narcissist’s plan may be).
These herd members will then adopt the narcissist’s beliefs, behaviours, or attitudes towards the target/scapegoat, often without so much as attempting to give the situation some critical thought, tap into some self-awareness, or consider other perspectives. It’s a classic case of jumping on the bandwagon simply because it appears to be the best option from “protect your own butt” , “do whatever it takes to fit in” or “I must defend this poor victim (who is actually the perpetrator)” types of standpoints.
In families, friend groups, workplaces, and other spaces, herd mentality can easily take over at the hands of a toxic person. You may be wondering what the solution is for this type of activity. Here are some suggestions:
Willingness to view and consider more than one opinion or perspective
Avoid being caught up in a rush to judgment
When narcissists aren’t successful in their bid to draw others into their smear campaign activities against a chosen target, their plans fall flat. And when their plans fail to materialize, people are spared from their toxicity. Even previously scapegoated individuals may fall prey to herd mentality by unintentionally or otherwise aligning with someone toxic, but the above-mentioned suggestions can help to avoid it.
Herds are crucial safety systems for some species, like cattle or sheep. There’s safety in numbers for these creatures. It’s a form of protection for each and every member. But for humans, following the herd doesn’t generally equate to benefits because there are often negative results for one or more people, particularly when the herd is being directed and led by someone with less than good intentions.
