Tag: toxic workplace

Self-Care as an investment in personal health and strength

Self-care is something that I make note of in my writing on a regular basis.  Why?  Because it matters…a lot.

“Self-care is a sustainable and holistic investment in our minds and bodies. It includes taking good care of our physical health, most notably by eating healthily, exercising, and sleeping well. But it also entails looking after our minds and emotions, which can take the form of setting time aside for activities that nourish our spirits and learning to understand how we can best replenish our energies” (Schaffner, 2020).

When we make self-care a priority, we also make our health a priority.  Without health, what are we left with?

Self-care is of particular importance when we are interacting with toxic people.  It helps to keep us strong in all ways – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And while it can be incredibly challenging to find time for self-care, with toxic people either demanding all of our attention or finding ourselves too upset or stressed to focus on personal care, carving out even just a few minutes whenever possible can make a major difference.  Some narcissists, for example, create situations where we can become regularly fatigued (as with events that result in sleep deprivation), which weakens us on a holistic level.  They know that their targets are easier to control and manipulate when their defences are down.  So, if we can keep ourselves as strong as possible, we can have a better chance of not becoming absolutely overwhelmed and exhausted, which leaves us unprotected from the whims of disordered individuals.  Also, if we’ve chosen low- or no-contact with a given person or people, we need strength to uphold our boundaries and adjust to and thrive in the changes that we have chosen for ourselves.

No matter who you are or where you are at in your life’s journey, self-care truly is essential.  What self-care looks like for each person – beyond the basics of healthy eating, exercising, and adequate sleep – will be unique.  We need to tune into ourselves to find what soothes our soul and gives us energy.  Once we know what works for us, self-care routines are helpful.  But, as was mentioned above, if regular times for self-care are not currently possible, then fitting it in where we can is the next best option.  A healthy snack, taking a walk, going to bed a few minutes earlier than usual, listening to music, engaging in art of some kind, chatting with friends, playing with pets…whatever it may be that we can take even a few moments to do, it all empowers us and makes an impact.

Until next time,

Heather

~Natural Clarity Coaching~

naturalclaritycoaching.com

na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

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References

Schaffner, A. K. (2020, May 20). How To Practice Self-Care: 10 Worksheets and 12 Ideas. PositivePsychology.com.        https://positivepsychology.com/self-care-worksheets/

It’s YOUR Life

As a member of many online groups on the subject of dealing with narcissists and other toxic individuals, I have observed a variety of common themes within posts. A main current is that of one’s life not feeling like their own. This typically takes the shape of people being almost constantly bombarded with opinions, criticisms, and unsolicited advice about how they should be living their lives, particularly as adults. And, taking it one step further, if the individual doesn’t conform to the opinions, criticisms, and unsolicited advice of these people (narcissistic parents, partners, friends, colleagues, etc.), they will be faced with some form of punishment such as the silent treatment or abandonment, guilt-tripping, a smear campaign, or some other manipulative treatment meant to cause someone to “do as they’re told”.

What we need to keep in mind is that this is OUR life. No one else has the right to tell us how to live it, nor do we owe anyone explanations for our decisions. If someone feels that it’s acceptable to dole out punishment because we have not followed their advice on something within our own life, that’s very telling of their character and not ours. And we have no obligation whatsoever to anyone but ourselves when it comes to our life decisions. Going forward, we may also need to evaluate our relationships with those who feel that they are justified in telling us how to live and then trying to manipulate and control us into doing what they want. There are ways (such as low or no contact, placing boundaries, etc.) to protect ourselves from that type of behaviour.

If we follow our hearts and dreams, trust ourselves as captains of our own ships, and steer clear of other people’s unsolicited interference in our decision-making (very different situation from those times we may approach a trusted individual for advice), we will be fine. And, in all honesty, we all make mistakes. We’re human. As long as we learn from those mistakes, that’s all part and parcel of a growth mindset. It makes us stronger, gives us greater knowledge and experience, and empowers us as we journey through life. No one is intended to have others run their life for them. Nor should we feel guilty or wrong if we make our own decisions. We need to take our own path, believe in ourselves, and not be held back by anyone or anything. So, get out there and live life to its fullest and on your own terms.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter