As they say, trauma isn’t all about just the bad stuff; it’s also about the good stuff that never happened. And great malice isn’t necessary to do great harm because an absence of both empathy and understanding are sufficient.
Sometimes what is lacking can have as much of a negative impact as what is occurring. So, what happens in our childhoods within dysfunctional families can be obvious – like physical and/or verbal abuse – but it can also be invisible. And, sadly, both play out in our lives as we become adults. All of it can lead to severe insecurity, lack of confidence or self-acceptance, and issues in other relationships, to name just a few. Emotionally immature and unavailable role models often lead their children down the path of deficits in many ways.
How do we repair these emotional wounds that have major influence in our lives? My focus is always on growing an awareness of the dynamics we have experienced in our lives, and then making healing a priority. Once we see where and by whom the damage was done, it’s okay to sit with those feelings that will inevitably arise, like anger, grief, sadness, loss, and regret. Even though we’re often taught not to feel or show emotions, we need to recognize the importance of honouring and validating how we feel.
But once that step feels complete, we need to prioritize ourselves and our healing. That’s what is most important. Some online articles or books will suggest taking revenge on disordered parents or anyone who has caused us harm, but when you really think about it, what good does that do us? It only uses time that we could be putting into healing and thriving. That’s been said in previous blog posts so I won’t go into it again here.
For now, this is simply a reminder that the experiences that create trauma or challenges aren’t always loud and directly observable. They can lay within parental silent treatment, the absence of empathy and understanding from our role models, missing out on good experiences, and so on. And what creates trauma or other issues in each of us is as unique as we are.
Here’s a link to search results for books on the subject of healing trauma: https://amzn.to/44nrV0S
Until next time,
~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn
*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours 
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