I’ve written about this topic in the past but felt that it was worth talking about again.
When we realize that someone in our life is toxic — whether it involves narcissism or some other form of dysfunction — it’s incredibly important to focus on our healing. It’s easy to get tangled up in the why’s of the situation … why do/did they treat me that way? … why are/were they like this? … and so on. The truth is, though, that we can spend all kinds of time wondering about someone else and their intentions and behaviour, but it’s unlikely that we’ll ever truly know the why’s of it. And that’s okay. We don’t need to understand anything more than that toxic people are toxic people. The priority is to heal ourselves and not waste precious time wondering about someone else.
And the most amazing things happen when we heal ourselves from the acts of abusive people, including the improved abilities to pick up quickly on red flags, create and maintain boundaries, and, best of all, know our value and the steps we’ll bravely take to protect ourselves if anyone disrespects us in any way in the future. Truth be told, it’s highly unlikely that healed people will allow toxic people to stay in or come into their lives, or, at least, close enough to be able to cause any harm. And, yes, this includes family, partners, friends, and so on. Toxic people come in all forms. Regardless of who they are, we have every right to protect ourselves and our peace. Many of us will have grown up in dysfunctional environments and were trained to accept abusive behaviour as ‘normal’, but when we heal and grow, well, let’s just say that once we see dysfunction and abuse and the people who perpetrate them with open eyes, we can’t easily un-see any of it. And going back into that mess is not a desirable goal.
I’ve viewed many websites that talk about getting back at the narcissist, or trying to figure out why they hurt us. While it’s helpful to understand, in general, about toxic people and that their actions have absolutely nothing to do with us, it’s most advantageous for us to put time into our own selves and lives. That’s where the rubber meets the road, as they say. Because when we heal and learn to appreciate ourselves and our value, issues with toxic people will undoubtedly drop off. Why? We’re stronger, we learn to appreciate peace and what it’s like to have it around us, and we know without a doubt that life is too short to waste on toxic individuals and that our future happiness is worth its weight in gold.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter
