Tag: narcissism awareness (Page 1 of 6)

How Trauma Stores in the Body

September 10, 2023 / / 0 Comments

“Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” ~ Gabor Mate

With trauma of any kind, a mark is left not only on the mind, but also on the body.  The memory of trauma becomes stored in the body as well as the nervous system. This can then lead to both psychological and physiological symptoms which can be overwhelming and fatiguing, as in PTSD and C-PTSD. In turn, emotional and physical exhaustion are common results.

If we’re looking at some of the specific symptoms, they can manifest as:

  • Anxiety, depression, dissociation
  • Triggers
  • Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping
  • Paranoia
  • Hypervigilance
  • Migraines
  • Chronic pain

When experiencing a traumatic event, our body is triggered to fight, flee, or fawn (trying to please someone to avoid conflict). This comes from within the sympathetic nervous system (connects internal organs to the brain by spinal nerves), and is considered an acute response to stress. While this reaction is a human survival reaction in the form of heightened arousal, when this happens regularly – even in the form of triggers from past trauma – it becomes challenging to return to a regulated and calm state.

There are many ways to counteract stored trauma and rebalance our nervous system, such as body-based therapies. These include trauma-informed yoga, somatic therapy (connecting mind and body), and other methods to establish calm, regulation, and feelings of safety.

If you are interested in delving further into this topic, here is a link to a page with a great book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., as well as workbooks to complement the reading of the book: https://amzn.to/3Pym8l1 

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Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

‘Lack of’ can have as much of a negative impact as observable experiences

August 22, 2023 / / 0 Comments

As they say, trauma isn’t all about just the bad stuff; it’s also about the good stuff that never happened. And great malice isn’t necessary to do great harm because an absence of both empathy and understanding are sufficient.

Sometimes what is lacking can have as much of a negative impact as what is occurring. So, what happens in our childhoods within dysfunctional families can be obvious – like physical and/or verbal abuse – but it can also be invisible. And, sadly, both play out in our lives as we become adults. All of it can lead to severe insecurity, lack of confidence or self-acceptance, and issues in other relationships, to name just a few. Emotionally immature and unavailable role models often lead their children down the path of deficits in many ways.

How do we repair these emotional wounds that have major influence in our lives? My focus is always on growing an awareness of the dynamics we have experienced in our lives, and then making healing a priority. Once we see where and by whom the damage was done, it’s okay to sit with those feelings that will inevitably arise, like anger, grief, sadness, loss, and regret. Even though we’re often taught not to feel or show emotions, we need to recognize the importance of honouring and validating how we feel.

But once that step feels complete, we need to prioritize ourselves and our healing. That’s what is most important. Some online articles or books will suggest taking revenge on disordered parents or anyone who has caused us harm, but when you really think about it, what good does that do us? It only uses time that we could be putting into healing and thriving. That’s been said in previous blog posts so I won’t go into it again here.

For now, this is simply a reminder that the experiences that create trauma or challenges aren’t always loud and directly observable. They can lay within parental silent treatment, the absence of empathy and understanding from our role models, missing out on good experiences, and so on. And what creates trauma or other issues in each of us is as unique as we are.

Here’s a link to search results for books on the subject of healing trauma:  https://amzn.to/44nrV0S

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

 

Shrugging Off the Controlling Opinions of a Dysfunctional Family

August 18, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I think it’s important for this to be said. If we have come from a dysfunctional family of any kind – but particularly narcissistic – we owe zero explanations to them  for how we choose to live our lives. And, further, it’s okay if our family of origin is disappointed or disagrees with our choices. This is OUR life to live. And, from the experiences of many, living our lives in accordance with other people’s instructions often leads to regret and other challenging issues.

So, that disappointed look that a narcissistic mother gives or the condescending comments by an enabling father, for example, are not our concern. And we should think long and hard before we act on those things. Yes, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we need to make everyone else happy and “do as we’re told”. But that isn’t something that will hold us back if we don’t allow it to do so. Narcissists and enablers are great with guilt-tripping and disappointed expressions. Let them! Seriously…let them do what they need to do while we live out our own plans and achieve our own goals. Take those risks, make those choices, bring those dreams into the realm of reality. It’s okay! In fact, it’s 110% okay. Live life and make zero apologies for it to parents or other family members who think it’s appropriate to not only make someone’s life choices for them, but to react with guilting, shame, silent treatment or other controlling tactics if those choices are not made as ordered.

We all need to live our lives as we choose. Ignoring pressure from other people gets easier the more we practice it. Exercise those self-acceptance muscles every chance that presents itself. And remember, it’s their choice to behave in the controlling and manipulative ways they do about OUR lives. O-U-R lives. Not theirs. So many people struggle with not having validation from family when the only validation that is needed is their own. The rest of it is simply other people’s opinions, which are often based in stereotypes and biases.

Live life to the fullest!

**Here are some book ideas for dealing with dysfunctional people, if you’re interested: https://amzn.to/3qGnUHk

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

How to Say Goodbye to Limiting Beliefs

July 29, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Limiting beliefs are a state of mind or beliefs about yourself or the world that are restricting. These beliefs can run the gamut from “I don’t have enough time” to “I’m not good enough – smart enough – attractive enough” and so on. And, yes, we place these limits on ourselves and our environment. Sometimes they arise from a single negative experience. Other times, though, they are the result of growing up in a toxic family. Scapegoats/black sheep of narcissist parents, for instance, are regularly criticized, critiqued, berated, judged, and punished for the smallest of things. This gives the distinct message from one’s own family that a person is unworthy and unlovable. Under these conditions, it’s not difficult to fall into the belief that we’re defective and lacking.  And this can impact our entire life if we don’t intervene on our own behalf.

So, how do we go about dealing with limiting beliefs?

First of all, we need to recognize them. Like, “why am I afraid to try this? There’s something holding me back!”

Next, we need to recognize that what we have is simply a belief. It isn’t a fact. It isn’t truth. It’s just a belief we are holding about ourselves or the world around us.

Knowing that these are just beliefs, we can begin to challenge them.

The next step is to challenge our belief. Rather than accepting our negative, belief-based thoughts about, say, what we’re capable of academically, we should ask ourselves why we feel that way. If our answer to the self-posed question is that we aren’t intelligent enough to be successful in academics, then our next question to ourselves should be, “why not?”. Chances are, we might not have a justifiable response.

It is incredibly important to then recognize the potentially damaging consequences of continuing to hold limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world. Missed opportunities, self-esteem issues, lack of success, and so on.

Then, adopting new and positive beliefs is imperative. For example, if we’ve been holding the belief that we’re “not smart enough”, we can replace it with “I am capable of whatever I put my mind to”. Or if it’s “I’m not good enough”, then it needs to be something more like, “I am enough”.

Lastly, we need to put new beliefs into practice. It can be challenging to step out of a comfort zone, no matter how dysfunctional it is or that it didn’t serve us well. But it is entirely possible to overhaul our belief systems and then act in accordance with them.

As an example, many people who were raised in a narcissistic environment (narcissist, enabling parent, golden child) are likely to have limiting beliefs about many parts of themselves. A common occurrence with scapegoats is being told that they’re “average” or even “stupid”.  That can translate to difficulties in school because scapegoats will often adopt that belief about themselves (remember, as children, we trust our parents and accept what they say as truth) and it, in turn, limits them academically. From childhood, that typically carries on through adolescence and into adulthood, sometimes having negative impacts on post-secondary education and career options, for instance. But if we learn to challenge our beliefs regularly, and to implement beneficial beliefs after weeding out the limiting ones, we will begin to approach our self-image and self-beliefs, as well as our beliefs about the world, in ways that help us to stop cheating ourselves out of opportunities. Instead, we will learn to approach our lives with confidence and healthy self-esteem.

One word of warning is that, although anyone can have limiting beliefs that should be changed, scapegoats in particular need to have an awareness that anger may rise up when we’re working through the process. Why? Because it’s difficult to recognize that we adopted our beliefs about ourselves and the world from people we trusted because we were too young to question it. And then those beliefs have been carried through our lives to whatever point we’re currently at. And we may, in retrospect, see lost opportunities, self-sabotaging or destructive behaviours that have taken place. It can bring up a lot of emotions that we need to be prepared for.

In the end, what we need to remind ourselves is that we weren’t foolish to listen to our disordered or emotionally immature parents and then accept what they told us about ourselves and the world as truth. We were children. And children trust their role models. But when we become ‘awakened’ and see things as they are, it’s our opportunity to take our futures in hand and live our lives in healthy, functional ways. Holding beneficial beliefs is empowering and it frees us to thrive as we were meant to. We’ll likely discover amazing things about ourselves along the way. Resentment and anger will only hold us back if we don’t let it go. That in itself is limiting. Step into this new awareness with a growth mindset, inner strength, and the knowledge that the future is ours and it’s limitless.

Until next time,

~Heather Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

 

Toxic Family System – Basics Refresher

July 25, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Hey there! So I thought it might be beneficial to go over dysfunctional and toxic family systems, such as is found with narcissists. This is a topic I’ve written about in the past, but I’m aware that there are always people coming to the blog who are in the beginning stages of trying to understand their situation.

Typically, there will be one narcissist at the helm of a family. Occasionally there will be two, but that’s a rarity. Why? Because narcissists generally gravitate towards partners who will make them the center of attention, and two narcissists couldn’t realistically supply each other with all of that ego-stroking. They want their ego stroked, and they aren’t interested in authentically doing that for anyone else. So partners of narcissists tend to be what is described as enablers. These individuals don’t take a stand for themselves or any children they may have with the narcissist. And they spend the majority of their time attempting to keep the peace and ensure that the narcissist is happy — at any cost. Enabling behaviour may also involve spending as little time at home as possible, leaving children entirely alone with the narcissist parent.

Next, in any narcissistic family there needs to be a scapegoat or black sheep amongst their children. In some cases, there’s more than one scapegoat. Scapegoats are chosen by the narcissist at birth or a young age (for any number of ridiculous reasons from gender to intelligence, physical traits, personality, and so on) and, at the urging of the narcissist parent, are blamed for everything by everyone in the family, including by their golden child sibling(s). There are many stories of scapegoats being told they have been the problem in their family since they were born! I know…it makes absolutely no sense, but that’s the way this dysfunctional system operates.

Golden child was made mention of in the previous paragraph. This child is also chosen by the narcissist, but for entirely different reasons than the scapegoat (yet it’s typically as senseless as the reasons behind the narcissist’s choice of a scapegoat). This golden child can do no wrong, ever. They are viewed as perfection itself by the narcissistic parent. The perfect baby, the smartest and funniest child, the most attractive teenager — you get the picture. And this adoration continues into adulthood for the golden child, while the scapegoat is unable to cast off their negative label no matter what they’ve accomplished in life.

The narcissistic family system requires everyone to play their assigned roles. The narcissist has all of the power and control over the family. The enabling parent needs to supply the narcissist with ongoing support, ego-stroking, and undying love. These enabling parents will throw their scapegoat child(ren) to the wolves time and again if it means keeping the peace between themselves and their narcissist partner. And this is because not only have they been told over and over again how ‘fill-in-the-blank-with-a-negative-word’ the scapegoat is, to the point that it’s simply accepted as fact, but if they don’t go along with the narcissist, their life is made miserable by narcissistic abuse. It is rare for an enabling parent to defend a scapegoat child for those very reasons. The golden child receives never-ending praise and is a source of great pride for the narcissist parent. And the scapegoat is the one who can never do anything right and is constantly having fingers pointed at them as the cause of all issues within the family (even though they probably haven’t done anything, or anything worth such berating).

From within this system, it’s easy for scapegoats to find themselves in other abusive relationships as they get older. When you’re told you’re always in the wrong and to blame for everyone’s problems, it’s easy to feel like that’s ‘normal’. It can be said that scapegoats often gravitate towards toxic people, and the reverse is also true. Toxic people need others to abuse and control, while scapegoats have been conditioned to follow orders and accept whatever is dished out to them. It’s an unfortunate but ideal pairing.

But once we see it — the abusive behaviour, controlling, gaslighting, unfairness —  it’s difficult to un-see it. And although it’s common to feel stuck, there are ways out of this role and, if we choose, out of these relationships. Boundaries, low contact, no contact, etc. To start, though, we can begin to heal by empowering ourselves and recognizing our value. There are posts about all of this within the Natural Clarity Coaching blog pages, and there will be more to come. Because it’s all about empowerment and healing. Feel free to drop in and read posts at any time. They were written to empower, support, and give hope.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

“Why Don’t You Just Get Over It?”

June 24, 2023 / / 0 Comments

“Why Don’t You Just Get Over It?” – some of the most popular words of toxic people. When someone goes no- or low-contact with them, implements boundaries, and/or directly addresses their behaviour, people who are emotionally immature, narcissistic, toxic, and abusive – among many potential traits – will often turn to those seven words. And those seven words are an attempt to flip everything onto another person or people. Zero accountability is the name of the game. If they can make someone else seem too sensitive, too weak, lacking a sense of humour, like they’re being a troublemaker or a drama queen/king, to name a few, then all of that accountability might easily shift in their direction and away from the person at the root of the issues. It’s classic gaslighting, plain and simple. Additionally, it’s disrespectful, condescending, demeaning, unsupportive, and invalidating.

Let’s take a quick look at this occurrence using a fictional narcissist as an example. So, this narcissist’s adult son (the family scapegoat) went no contact with his narcissist father due to ongoing toxic behaviour. The son’s mental and physical health were suffering and he felt that he could not endure any further emotional abuse from his father. The choice to cut ties was difficult because he also lost his relationship with his enabling mother in the process, but he has a family who needs him to be whole and healthy. He also wanted better for himself and his own life, and he decided that it was time to take action. During this time of no contact with his father, the son has found peace for the first time in his life and has acknowledged that his father is highly unlikely to change his erroneous narrative about him or to treat him with respect or as an equal in their relationship. As a result, for the sake of his newfound peace and wellbeing, the son does not reconnect with his father. After a few years, the father sends a message through a shared relative asking “why don’t you just get over it” of the son.

Okay, so A) the father has always claimed to be without fault and completely unaware of why his son cut contact with him, which leads to the question, “what is this “it” that the son should be getting over?” And B) in healthy families, people communicate and support one another. So why – especially after the passing of years – has this “parent” not reached out to his son in a supportive and loving fashion rather than pointing fingers, assigning blame to someone for “not getting over it”, continuing to scapegoat his son, and then acting like the victim? When the situation is viewed from this rational perspective, the narcissistic, emotionally immature, ego-driven traits of this parent can be clearly seen.

Here’s the truth: regardless of who we are in the dynamics of a given situation – family scapegoat, workplace or friend group scapegoat, and so on – we do not have to “just get over it”. We can feel our feelings and trauma for as long as we need to. Maybe that’s a few months, a few years, or a lifetime, but it’s entirely up to us. And people who ask us why we “can’t just get over it” are simply exposing themselves as the unsupportive and unempathetic individuals they are. They’re also trying to downplay what caused the breakdown in the first place and shift the responsibility to the person who is reacting to negative behaviour. Healthy people won’t drive others away in the first place. Children of healthy parents don’t go no-contact with their parents, because there would be no need to do so. Healthy families support their members, communicate maturely, and don’t engage in toxic behaviours. If there’s a problem, they talk about it openly and with respect. They don’t sweep their actions under the rug while continuing to point fingers and play the victim.

So the next time someone asks “why can’t you just get over it?”, ask yourself what’s wrong with this behaviour. Healthy people help and support each other, communicate with respect, and continuously work to keep their relationships healthy and meaningful. They don’t gaslight and place blame when there should be a desire to improve a situation.  Everyone deserves respect, regardless of whether we’ve been raised to believe that applies to us or not. And if someone has broken us down to the point that we have cut them out of our lives, hell no(!!!!!), we are not under any obligation to just get over it. And anyone who is asking us to do so is not someone who respects us or genuinely cares about having a healthy relationship. Healthy people put in the effort to behave functionally and with respect and kindness for those around them. Expect that for yourself and be someone who gives that freely to the people in your life.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter

When Special Occasions Are Challenging

June 15, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Hi all,

I’ve been busy working on various projects and realized it had been a bit since I wrote a post.

So, for those of us who are estranged from or not looking forward to spending time with a dysfunctional family or certain members, special occasions come with mixed and challenging feelings. We may even dread them. If no-contact has been the choice, then, for the people who are not part of our life, there won’t be any celebrations of mother’s or father’s day, to name a couple that take place this time of year. On the other hand, if low-contact or interactions with strong boundaries are the current way of things, then dealing with these occasions will likely be happening.

Regardless of a person’s current situation with family – beyond dysfunction, some people’s parents have passed or they’ve lost children, for example – occasions like mother’s and father’s days can be difficult.

What are some ways of getting through, whether it’s full no-contact or a tense family gathering?

  1. Prepare for it mentally. Get plenty of sleep beforehand, hydrate, be realistic about what you might encounter and how you will deal with it (ie. deep breathing, keeping conversation and emotion to a minimum, leaving if necessary, finding other things to do alone or with other family or friends, etc.).
  2. Know your boundaries and hold to them. Toxic people love to push boundaries and it helps to be prepared for that eventuality, whether it’s happening in real time or there’s fall-out after the fact. Enabling parents and flying monkeys come out of the woodwork more often around special occasions, too. The simple fact of the matter is that each of us has the right to decide who can be in our life, and if someone is toxic and unhealthy for us, then we have the choice to disallow their access to us. If they don’t like it and if they send their lackeys to do their bidding, so be it. We can still hold strong. If it’s protection of ourselves and/or our children or other loved ones, that’s what we need to focus on rather than all of the noise and smear campaigns that come from toxic people and their army of yes-people when they don’t get their way.
  3. Don’t stick around or allow guests to stay in your home if there is a need to bring festivities to an end. Respect your needs and expect respect from others, particularly if they’re in your home.
  4. Remember to celebrate yourself if you’re a parent or for other celebratory events! These occasions aren’t only about other people; they apply to you, too. Growing up in a dysfunctional family may have created the impression that only certain people matter enough to be celebrated; bury that inaccurate narrative in a deep hole, fill it in, and then add some cement over the top!
  5. Go for a walk or have a relaxing bath after all is said and done – whatever works for you. Self-care can work wonders, and it doesn’t take much to have a big effect.
  6. If unpleasant words were spoken to you by or on behalf of a toxic person, try not to ruminate over them. Consider the source, allow yourself to see the dynamics behind the words, and then let them go and don’t give them any further energy.

Remember that if you were once a scapegoat/black sheep for your family of origin and you have stepped out of the role, remaining family members will typically want to pull you back in so that the status quo can be continued. Their dynamics will be off and they want to right them again. Special occasions are always a great opportunity for them to put things into action. That doesn’t mean that the once-scapegoat needs to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the greater good. Not at all. Scapegoats have the right to take their lives back, find peace, and keep it that way. Going back to dysfunctional situations for the sake of making other people happy (and, honestly, they aren’t “happy”) isn’t fair or healthy. If the situation had been good, we never would have left. Always keep that in mind. And, sadly, most toxic people and their enablers and golden children don’t change for the better. Going back into the fold won’t change anything. All it does is undo personal progress and cause stress and emotional struggles. It’s always best not to allow special occasions to pull us back in to a space that we thought long and hard about leaving in the first place.

No matter what this coming weekend looks like for you, know that you’re not alone and you’re stronger than you know.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter

Intuition and Why We Should Listen to It

May 3, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Being aware of our intuition and feelings is important. This is especially true when it comes to how we feel around certain people. The Oxford Languages definition of intuition is “the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning”.  Further, according to the Berkley Well-Being Institute, “[i]ntuition is the result of your brain putting together everything you have learned from past experiences in your life to help you form a quick conclusion.”

Our intuition signals when someone (or something) isn’t good for us. Toxic people, particularly narcissists, will trigger intuitive and emotional reactions in us, whether or not we’re consciously aware of the why of it. When we’ve come from toxic and dysfunctional upbringings, we’re usually given the distinct impression that it’s frowned upon – maybe even punishable – to listen to our intuition or feelings. And we can easily become disconnected from these warning systems as a result. Why do toxic people want us to ignore our intuition? Because if we paid attention to it, then we would be acknowledging that the intuitive alarms are sounding because someone in our environment is setting them off, letting us know that we should defend and protect ourselves from some type of harm, and then we might act on the warning. Toxic people don’t want us to act on feelings that we should defend ourselves. They want complete control and for their scapegoats and others to accept any situation without question.

So, here’s the thing: our intuition and our feelings are worth listening to and honouring. When dealing with narcissists and other toxic people, we have the option of setting aside their manipulations and unpleasant behaviour and simply hearing what’s happening inside of us. We can ask ourselves, “how am I feeling as I’m interacting with this person?”.  And if it’s bringing about unpleasant feelings – whether it’s the first time or the thousandth time – we have every right to create boundaries and enforce them. That could look like walking away, telling someone our boundaries, or maybe limiting our contact with them through no contact or low contact. It could even give us time and space to clear our minds and reevaluate certain relationships. Obviously, that will depend on the person’s role in our life. Is there likely to be pushback from an individual or individuals that we’re taking a stand with for ourselves? There’s a huge chance of it, yes. But can we weather that storm in honour and protection of ourselves? Absolutely.

Growing up in a dysfunctional environment often breaks us down on every level. We accept poor treatment because we’ve been trained to think we don’t deserve better or that this is what love looks like or that there are very real consequences for going against or questioning the status quo. It’s usually all we’ve ever experienced, so it’s challenging to imagine that it’s ‘wrong’ or that we could possibly expect something different for ourselves. But despite all of that, our intuition and our emotions will continue to speak to us and set off those internal alarms. Someone in our lives may have trained us to believe that we’re inferior and/or a black sheep and so on, and we may not question those narratives about ourselves as a result. We’ve literally been brainwashed. But our instinct or sixth sense – whatever we want to call it – will always be operating inside us. No one can shut that off, regardless of how much they’d like to do so. They can condition us not to listen to it, for sure. Like when we’re told that we’re “too sensitive” or “stupid” or “unattractive”, we may believe it because we’ve been told for so long that’s it’s true and we’ll likely have received strong reactions to any attempts  we’ve made to contradict those claims against us. And yet, our intuition will be telling us otherwise. It may be a little flutter in the solar plexus (physical sensations) or flickering feelings and/or thoughts that contradict the toxic words or beliefs being expressed to us. That will always be there. And we will always have the option to hear it and, if we so choose, act on it.

That little voice inside us – or the interconnected reactions within our physical bodies – is our ally, our protector, our connection to truth and authenticity within ourselves. When our environment is harsh and hurtful, intuition is rays of light within us that point the way to our truth. And it isn’t going anywhere. It’s there for us any time, anywhere, and it forever will be. We have freedom of choice to hear it or ignore it. But, regardless of what we choose, we have that element of choice available to us. That’s empowering in itself.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter

More on Self-Acceptance

April 30, 2023 / / 0 Comments

As has been mentioned in past posts, self-acceptance is incredibly important. So, here are some tips on making that happen:

________________________________

Forgive ourselves for past mistakes and know that absolutely everyone makes mistakes. Let them go, knowing that we did our best with the knowledge and circumstances we were dealing with at the time.

Try to celebrate our strengths, see the good in every situation, and stay positive and grateful (even for the smallest of things).

Avoid comparisons with others. We need to just be who we are and hold our heads high! 🙂

Hush that inner critic. It isn’t helpful anyway.

Learn to express our feelings to trusted others.

Surround ourselves with supportive people.

Help others. When we provide assistance to other people, we spend less time worrying about our own issues.

______________________________

Here’s the link to a great book by Tara Brach – Radical Self-acceptance – that is available for free on Amazon with an Audible trial: https://amzn.to/429P6Lt (copy link and paste into your browser)

It really comes down to positively shifting our way of looking at the world and ourselves. There’s no doubt that it takes some practice but it’s possible for anyone to do. And, in the end, it really can make a huge difference in our lives.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter

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