Tag: look after yourself

Self-Care as an investment in personal health and strength

Self-care is something that I make note of in my writing on a regular basis.  Why?  Because it matters…a lot.

“Self-care is a sustainable and holistic investment in our minds and bodies. It includes taking good care of our physical health, most notably by eating healthily, exercising, and sleeping well. But it also entails looking after our minds and emotions, which can take the form of setting time aside for activities that nourish our spirits and learning to understand how we can best replenish our energies” (Schaffner, 2020).

When we make self-care a priority, we also make our health a priority.  Without health, what are we left with?

Self-care is of particular importance when we are interacting with toxic people.  It helps to keep us strong in all ways – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And while it can be incredibly challenging to find time for self-care, with toxic people either demanding all of our attention or finding ourselves too upset or stressed to focus on personal care, carving out even just a few minutes whenever possible can make a major difference.  Some narcissists, for example, create situations where we can become regularly fatigued (as with events that result in sleep deprivation), which weakens us on a holistic level.  They know that their targets are easier to control and manipulate when their defences are down.  So, if we can keep ourselves as strong as possible, we can have a better chance of not becoming absolutely overwhelmed and exhausted, which leaves us unprotected from the whims of disordered individuals.  Also, if we’ve chosen low- or no-contact with a given person or people, we need strength to uphold our boundaries and adjust to and thrive in the changes that we have chosen for ourselves.

No matter who you are or where you are at in your life’s journey, self-care truly is essential.  What self-care looks like for each person – beyond the basics of healthy eating, exercising, and adequate sleep – will be unique.  We need to tune into ourselves to find what soothes our soul and gives us energy.  Once we know what works for us, self-care routines are helpful.  But, as was mentioned above, if regular times for self-care are not currently possible, then fitting it in where we can is the next best option.  A healthy snack, taking a walk, going to bed a few minutes earlier than usual, listening to music, engaging in art of some kind, chatting with friends, playing with pets…whatever it may be that we can take even a few moments to do, it all empowers us and makes an impact.

Until next time,

Heather

~Natural Clarity Coaching~

naturalclaritycoaching.com

na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

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References

Schaffner, A. K. (2020, May 20). How To Practice Self-Care: 10 Worksheets and 12 Ideas. PositivePsychology.com.        https://positivepsychology.com/self-care-worksheets/

Happy Holidays! Here’s some tips to help you get through, especially if toxic people are in the picture

Well, here we go.  Another holiday season is upon us.  While special occasions should be enjoyable, they can be quite the opposite when toxic people are involved.  Be they partners, family, friends, coworkers, etc., some people seem to drag their drama and unpleasantries to every party, gathering, and dinner table when the holidays come around.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, if we need/want to attend events that will include narcissists and other difficult people, boundaries are always at our disposal.  That could include avoiding conversations, speaking minimally if we get pulled into any chit-chat, or walking away if we feel the need to do so.  It’s possible to be polite and not make a scene when attempting to avoid contact with someone.  Unless we’d like to make a scene, of course.  In that case, go for it!  Just be true to you, whatever that may look like.  And even if we’re in a room full of enablers (flying monkeys) of the toxic person/people, we can hold our heads high while recognizing that narcissists are very convincing, manipulative people who can pull the wool over some people’s eyes.  But that often changes.  Until then, we can define it as one of those “it is what it is” situations.  In the end, the behaviour of toxic people and their dutiful flying monkeys has absolutely nothing to do with us.  We just happen to be the (often scapegoated) current target of their misery and drama.

We can also choose not to attend events at which the person or people in question may be.  Yes, it sucks to miss out but we need to weigh that against loss of peace and increases in stress levels.

For those of us who are low- or no-contact and have been choosing not to attend events with certain individuals, the little worm of loneliness may try to creep in.  But we can ignore that feeling by keeping ourselves busy with new traditions, hobbies, or making plans for spending time with people who are less challenging to be around.

And above all else, make time for self-care.  Even five minutes can help if that’s all the time we can manage.  Deep breathing, yoga, going for a walk, time with friends, a warm bath…whatever gives us some downtime and relaxation can make a world of difference.  Absolutely every little moment of self-care helps our bodies, minds, and spirits to stay resilient and provides optimal chances for overall wellbeing.

Happy Holidays!  We can do this! 

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter