Tag: learn (Page 7 of 7)

Maybe we went no contact with the narcissist. Or low contact. There may simply be new boundaries that we won’t allow to be crossed. Whatever the case may be, less time interacting with narcissists or other toxic people often amounts to more peace and space in our lives.

How do peace and space help? First of all, we can step back and just breathe. And we can view ourselves and our lives without the cloud of abuse hanging over us. Peace allows for clearing the mind of abusive chatter. We can see things more clearly, including ourselves. And the more space and peace we experience, the more strength we develop and the less tolerance we have for abusive behaviour.

Will peace and space feel strange off the start? Definitely. When we’ve been in any sort of abusive relationship (from family to partners, co-workers, friends, etc.), we don’t have either of those things. They are unfamiliar. So when they come into our lives, it can be unsettling at first. But if we sit with them and learn to appreciate space and peace, they can take us to beautiful and empowering places. We can learn to love ourselves, to see red flags and toxic patterns, and to take steps to protect ourselves from future abuse.

The longer we have peace and space in our lives, the more clearly we will see behaviours that don’t mesh with them. We’ll protect them because we know how important they are to our wellbeing. And, most importantly, we’ll grow to recognize that we deserve to be treated with respect and that we are not to blame for the issues of disordered people.

Here is a link to resources for finding peace after abuse: peace after abuse

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching

naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours*

One thing many of us find common with narcissists is that they don’t like seeing others express emotion, especially their scapegoat(s). Why? Because they can’t control other people’s emotions. They have no way of predicting or managing whether tears might turn to anger or any other emotions. And they could lose people (such as enablers or flying monkeys) who typically ‘side’ with them — even temporarily — if empathy is felt and expressed by others towards the scapegoat.

The narcissist needs the scapegoat to be under their thumb at all times so that they can confidently manage the family/relational dynamics and maintain their position of power. However, the rule of no emotions, of course, does not apply to them. Narcissists love to show emotion when it suits them, and they can turn on the emotional drama when they need to manipulate a situation. Yes, in their opinion, they’re allowed to show emotions — fake or real — and everyone needs to accept it and take care of them, but they don’t tolerate it well from anyone else.

As is typical, narcissists don’t want anything or anyone in their environment that might be unpredictable, uncontrollable, or liable to impact their power. When scapegoats show emotion, it’s common for narcissists to respond with anger, disgust, or even the silent treatment in an attempt to shut it all down as quickly as possible.

Remember, it’s okay to feel. No one has the right to tell anyone how their feelings should look, or that they’re not allowed to express their feelings at all. Certainly, sometimes it’s safer to avoid expressing emotions in front of people who are known to invalidate them or to become angry or violent, but the key is to not allow that to become a habit throughout all areas and with everyone in our lives.

We humans are thinking, feeling beings. We have the right to think and to feel in whatever ways work for us. Our emotions belong to us.

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching

www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours*