
This little seedling is one of many that I have started for the upcoming growing season. She’s a red Bell pepper plant.
So, you may be wondering, what does a tiny, wee seedling have to do with scapegoats?
In my scapegoat experience, and from what I’ve heard from many, many other people, when we become aware of narcissism affecting our lives, we are led to make some difficult but important decisions. The main decision is rooted in the question of, “Where do I go from here?”. Will we maintain the status quo? Will we put up boundaries? Will we take steps to protect ourselves?
For me, I chose the protection option in the form of low contact and, eventually, no contact. And when I cut those ties, it freed me in ways I had never imagined possible. Without abuse, without being controlled, without being mentally and physically exhausted, I COULD FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO BE ME, whoever that turned out to be. I had never had an opportunity to really know myself outside of who I was told and controlled to be.
And that freedom from the choice I made felt like a completely fresh start. It felt like, even as an adult, a seed had been planted and it represented a new chapter in my life. I needed to give it optimal conditions and the best chance to germinate and grow into what it was meant to be. It was scary at times. Why? Because some seeds just don’t germinate. Germination rate: “The rate literally refers to the number of out 100 (or more) seeds which germinate successfully within an acceptable period of time” (West Coast Seeds, 2018). And then, if that seed (me) did germinate, could I ensure that it (I) would grow and thrive?
I won’t say that it was easy to get through the germination and early growing phases. At times, it felt like the best conditions couldn’t be maintained. I wanted to throw in the towel more than once. But my goal was to see this through and to find out what my full potential could be. I’m not there yet, and, honestly, I think we, as humans, will always be working toward greater potential. That’s a big part of life. However, where I’m at now is really great. The seed germinated,I grew (and continue to grow), and I’m thriving.
Out of darkness, through major challenges, and against a lot of odds, I chose a new start for myself. It felt exhilarating and terrifying all at once. But as time has gone on, I’ve gotten better and better at ensuring that the conditions I’m growing and thriving in are as close to optimal as is possible, just like I’m doing for the Bell peppers and other seedlings in my care.
So, unlike seeds, we don’t have someone cover us with soil, add some water, put grow lights over our heads and maybe a little heater off to the side, and then watch to be sure we make it to full-grown status, but when we move on from abuse and start anew, we have an opportunity to grow ourselves. And if we have people in our lives that can help us to sprout and grow, that support is always beneficial. As to what we can do for ourselves, there’s self-care, growth mindset (haha, pun intended), belief in ourselves and our new journey, good nutrition, exercise, adequate sleep, stress management, and maybe some coaching and/or therapy. And that all helps to create wellness that allows our potential to germinate, grow, and thrive. How absolutely cool is that?!
Keep growing, my friends!

Until next time,
~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching and Wellness
naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com
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*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours*

References
West Coast Seeds. (2018, June 7). Germination Rate. West Coast Seeds. https://www.westcoastseeds.com/blogs/glossary/germination-rate

