Tag: hobbies (Page 5 of 5)

Scapegoats and Seedlings

This little seedling is one of many that I have started for the upcoming growing season. She’s a red Bell pepper plant.

So, you may be wondering, what does a tiny, wee seedling have to do with scapegoats?

In my scapegoat experience, and from what I’ve heard from many, many other people, when we become aware of narcissism affecting our lives, we are led to make some difficult but important decisions. The main decision is rooted in the question of, “Where do I go from here?”. Will we maintain the status quo? Will we put up boundaries? Will we take steps to protect ourselves?

For me, I chose the protection option in the form of low contact and, eventually, no contact. And when I cut those ties, it freed me in ways I had never imagined possible. Without abuse, without being controlled, without being mentally and physically exhausted, I COULD FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO BE ME, whoever that turned out to be. I had never had an opportunity to really know myself outside of who I was told and controlled to be.

And that freedom from the choice I made felt like a completely fresh start. It felt like, even as an adult, a seed had been planted and it represented a new chapter in my life. I needed to give it optimal conditions and the best chance to germinate and grow into what it was meant to be. It was scary at times. Why? Because some seeds just don’t germinate. Germination rate: “The rate literally refers to the number of out 100 (or more) seeds which germinate successfully within an acceptable period of time” (West Coast Seeds, 2018). And then, if that seed (me) did germinate, could I ensure that it (I) would grow and thrive?

I won’t say that it was easy to get through the germination and early growing phases. At times, it felt like the best conditions couldn’t be maintained. I wanted to throw in the towel more than once. But my goal was to see this through and to find out what my full potential could be. I’m not there yet, and, honestly, I think we, as humans, will always be working toward greater potential. That’s a big part of life. However, where I’m at now is really great. The seed germinated,I grew (and continue to grow), and I’m thriving.

Out of darkness, through major challenges, and against a lot of odds, I chose a new start for myself. It felt exhilarating and terrifying all at once. But as time has gone on, I’ve gotten better and better at ensuring that the conditions I’m growing and thriving in are as close to optimal as is possible, just like I’m doing for the Bell peppers and other seedlings in my care.

So, unlike seeds, we don’t have someone cover us with soil, add some water, put grow lights over our heads and maybe a little heater off to the side, and then watch to be sure we make it to full-grown status, but when we move on from abuse and start anew, we have an opportunity to grow ourselves. And if we have people in our lives that can help us to sprout and grow, that support is always beneficial. As to what we can do for ourselves, there’s self-care, growth mindset (haha, pun intended), belief in ourselves and our new journey, good nutrition, exercise, adequate sleep, stress management, and maybe some coaching and/or therapy. And that all helps to create wellness that allows our potential to germinate, grow, and thrive. How absolutely cool is that?!

Keep growing, my friends!

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching and Wellness

naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, X (formerly Twitter)

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours*

References

West Coast Seeds. (2018, June 7). Germination Rate. West Coast Seeds. https://www.westcoastseeds.com/blogs/glossary/germination-rate

Some Ways to Wellness

A great focus for anyone, at any age, is that of wellness. “Wellness is a holistic integration of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, fueling the body, engaging the mind, and nurturing the spirit” (Stoewen, DL, 2017).

Whether we’re experiencing abuse or are under a serious stress load, struggling with health issues, or simply want to work towards being as well as possible, wellness is for anyone and everyone. It’s the conscious act of self-care that gets us there.

When it comes to being in an abusive situation, aiming for wellness is particularly beneficial. The trouble with this environment, though, is that it may be tremendously difficult to work towards wellness because of a lack of resources, feeling constantly fatigued, having a large number of daily responsibilities and problems to cope with, and a variety of other factors. This will vary from person to person. However, the flip side is that wellness provides a solid base for strength on all levels – physical, mental, and spiritual – and this can help us to keep putting one foot in front of the other in the face of adversity.

So, how do we bring wellness to our lives, especially if we’re currently experiencing some form of abuse? One path is to simply reach for it wherever and whenever we can, even if it seems like baby steps. Nutrition is one way. Fresh fruits and veggies are an ideal snack, side dish, or dessert, but canned and frozen still contain the nutrients. Eating as healthfully as possible under our current circumstances can make a big difference. Avoiding over-processed foods and “junk foods” can definitely help us feel better. They may bring some of us temporary emotional comfort but, in the end, they can make us feel worse while exacerbating the emotional eating cycle. If finances are a barrier, food banks are an option. There are also a variety of companies that offer daily mystery packages of baked goods, dairy products, meats, and fruit items at extremely low prices in order to avoid food waste. Staying hydrated is also incredibly important, with water being at the top of the list. Nutrition helps our bodies and minds to function better.

Exercise is another great way to work towards wellness. Do what you love! That may be jogging, cycling, skiing, skateboarding, tennis, soccer, basketball, walking (particularly in nature…fresh air can work wonders), or any number of other activities. All we need to do is move our bodies. One program that I’ve found very beneficial is called ‘Walk at Home’ (Instagram: @walkathome; Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WalkAtHomeOfficial; Website: https://walkathome.com/). It’s in the style of a full-body walking workout that you can easily find on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl6ZdslZz2Zj-34bMJFPbg). The founder is Leslie Sansone; she’s very motivational, knowledgeable, and easy to listen to, as are the other fitness leaders who offer instruction within ‘Walk at Home’. The program offers a variety of routines to choose from and you can tailor them to your needs. Some are 15 or 20 minutes, others are 45. The longer ones are broken into 15-minute sections that are each equivalent to one mile so that you can easily choose how far and for how long you want to participate. Resistance bands are a part of some of the programming, which provides additional strength training. All of this can be done in a small space and is geared towards all ages and all levels of ability.

Other forms of working towards or maintaining wellness include journalling, meditation, yoga, engaging in hobbies we enjoy, spending time in nature, volunteering, reading, and so on. Also, if we’re in need of professional help for our emotional and/or mental state, we can reach out. Many counsellors and therapists offer subsidized or sliding-scale fees. See your general practitioner doctor for referrals to psychiatrists that may be covered by government health plans. There are also a variety of free or low-cost mental wellness apps available. Also, look up support groups on Facebook or other platforms for an opportunity to gain insight, knowledge, and to reinforce that we are not alone. There are so many options available…we just need to seek them out.

And sleep…this is a crucial part of wellness. But between stress, worry, and maybe even an abuser who keeps us from getting enough rest, sleep can be elusive. That means that we need to make a conscious effort to get as much sleep as possible. Once we are sleep-deprived, it’s much more difficult to bounce back. So keeping on top of our sleep needs matters. And it matters a lot. According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, “[s]leep deficiency can interfere with work, school, driving, and social functioning. You might have trouble learning, focusing, and reacting. Also, you might find it hard to judge other people’s emotions and reactions. Sleep deficiency also can make you feel frustrated, cranky, or worried in social situations” (NHLBI, 2022).

Wellness is integral to us as human beings. When we’re in a rough patch of our life journey, it can be difficult to maintain it, but this is the very time that we need to cling to whatever self-care measures we can. An apple here, a walk there, water as often as possible, reading a few pages of a book, a few stretches when we get out of bed…every little bit helps to contribute to our overall wellness. And even smiling can have amazing benefits: “The feel-good neurotransmitters—dopamine, endorphins and serotonin—are all released when a smile flashes across your face as well. This not only relaxes your body, but it can also lower your heart rate and blood pressure” (Stevenson, 2012). And when we achieve any level of holistic wellness, it enhances our lives and provides us with strength to face whatever challenges may come our way. It’s empowering and enriching. So, even if we have to do it in baby steps, wellness benefits all of us.

Until next time,

~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching and Wellness

naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and X (Twitter)

*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours *

References

National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. (2022, March 24). Sleep Deprivation and Deficiency – What Are Sleep Deprivation and Deficiency? | NHLBI, NIH. www.nhlbi.nih.gov. https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep-deprivation#:~:text=Sleep%20deficiency%20can%20interfere%20with

Stevenson, S. (2012, June 25). There’s Magic in Your Smile | Psychology Today Canada. www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile

Stoewen, DL. Dimensions of wellness: Change your habits, change your life. Can Vet J. 2017 Aug;58(8):861-862. PMID: 28761196; PMCID: PMC5508938.

How to avoid feeling lonely during the holiday season in our ‘new normal’

The holiday season has always had the potential to bring a mixed bag of emotions with it, including loneliness. This year, the pandemic has created an entirely new set of circumstances on a global level. Many areas all over the world have been placed under government directives to socialize only with those with whom they reside throughout the holidays. For those who live alone, they are allowed to visit with the member(s) of one other household. Obviously these directives vary depending on where you live but the above seems to be fairly common.

There are plenty of ways to keep loneliness at bay during special occasions and on a more regular basis. Keeping busy (with rest and relaxation mixed in, of course) is the ultimate method because it can help to keep our minds from dwelling on situations that may bring with them feelings of sadness and/or loneliness. Read a book, listen to music, continue with or take up a hobby (writing, photography, art, music, dance, gardening or houseplants, etc.) or online course (lots of good ones out there and some are free or currently on sale), watch some great shows or movies (I’m finding ‘This is Us’ to be a series I enjoy watching, and ‘Burden of Truth’ was great before this, too. ‘Klaus’ is the most recent movie I watched and I found it to be really well-written and executed), tackle jobs around your home that you haven’t had time for. Go for a drive along a scenic route. Or call/text/message/Zoom with friends and family. It may not be the same as in-person gatherings but they are still good ways to connect.

Exercise is another option for spending time during the holidays. Walking, skiing (X-country or downhill) or snowboarding, sledding, snowshoeing, skating, jogging, biking – all great forms of outdoor fitness that easily comply with physical distancing directives and will get you into the fresh air and releasing those endorphins. Just being out in nature can be uplifting and a mood booster. Indoors, there’s yoga, Pilates, walking on a treadmill, stretches or simple workout routines, to name a few.

If you do find that loneliness or even depression begin to creep in and you need assistance to deal with it, always know that there is professional help available. Therapists and counsellors appear to be offering both in-office and virtual sessions. Some may even have subsidized sessions available, depending upon your financial situation. There are also many online resources like Big White Wall, Headspace and other providers who are available 24/7 online and/or by phone. You are never alone. With mental health finally getting the attention it deserves, more and more resources are being developed and made easily accessible to the general public. A quick internet search will find you someone to talk to at any time of the day or night. In an emergency mental health situation, though, don’t hesitate to call 9-1-1.

Cooking and/or baking can be enjoyable activities, especially for special occasions. If you’re an experienced cook or baker, whip up your favourite dishes or try something new. If you’re a novice, take some time to practice with recipes you’re interested in learning to make. In the event that you need some direction, call a friend or family member, or watch a YouTube video for more in-depth explanations and tips.

How about starting a side hustle? With the pandemic-related move to more and more businesses going online, now might be the perfect time to give life to that idea that you’ve been dreaming about. The possibilities are endless. And you just might find that your passion could turn into your new livelihood.

So, going into the upcoming holiday season, we all have the option of making the best of it and taking steps to avoid loneliness as much as possible. We might even rekindle or discover activities that will stay with us long beyond the holidays. 🙂

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

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