If you’re looking for a calming, meditative resource, check out Natural Clarity Calming on YouTube @NaturalClarityCalming. Here’s the link to the latest video:
Enjoy!
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching and Natural Clarity Calming
www.naturalclaritycoaching.com
“Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” ~ Gabor Mate
With trauma of any kind, a mark is left not only on the mind, but also on the body. The memory of trauma becomes stored in the body as well as the nervous system. This can then lead to both psychological and physiological symptoms which can be overwhelming and fatiguing, as in PTSD and C-PTSD. In turn, emotional and physical exhaustion are common results.
If we’re looking at some of the specific symptoms, they can manifest as:
When experiencing a traumatic event, our body is triggered to fight, flee, or fawn (trying to please someone to avoid conflict). This comes from within the sympathetic nervous system (connects internal organs to the brain by spinal nerves), and is considered an acute response to stress. While this reaction is a human survival reaction in the form of heightened arousal, when this happens regularly – even in the form of triggers from past trauma – it becomes challenging to return to a regulated and calm state.
There are many ways to counteract stored trauma and rebalance our nervous system, such as body-based therapies. These include trauma-informed yoga, somatic therapy (connecting mind and body), and other methods to establish calm, regulation, and feelings of safety.
If you are interested in delving further into this topic, here is a link to a page with a great book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., as well as workbooks to complement the reading of the book: https://amzn.to/3Pym8l1
Until next time,
~Heather~ Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn
*Let’s all take care of this planet of ours 
*
When it comes to self-care, exercise, nutrition, sleep, and stress management are major components. Self-care can sometimes be challenging to quantify and keep track of, though. I’ve found over the years that fitness trackers are great tools for ensuring that my self-care efforts are at the level I want them to be. For instance, my current tracker keeps a record of steps taken. Heart rate is also tracked, which then gives me a good idea of my resting heart rate as well as the zones entered for fat burning, etc. during exercise. It also gives me a really good reference for my sleep habits, from duration and time spent in different phases (light, deep, REM, awake), to snoring (lol), restlessness, and other things. There is a Menstrual Health Tracker as well. Food and water intake can be logged into a related subscription app, allowing me to tweak calorie consumption and hydration levels as needed. Additionally, the tracker provides access to what’s going on with my heart rate during periods of stress, which can prompt me to employ relaxation techniques like deep breathing. It’s really quite amazing to watch my heart rate drop when I take deep breaths and consciously attempt to relax my body. It’s great evidence that these techniques really work! Plus, the app I use keeps a record of the tracked information so that I can view long-term trends. On the tech side, it has GPS and an ECG app, text/call/app notifications, Alexa and Google Assistant, to name a few. There’s so many great things to say about these gadgets.
If you’re in the market for a fitness tracker to accompany you on your self-care journey, I can recommend the Fitbit Sense because it’s the model I’ve had for about 1.5 years. It’s a great-quality product, and the Fitbit app is simple to access and use (free for six months with purchase of new Fitbit, then around $12-13 CDN per month). Also, I haven’t noticed any decline in the ability of the battery to hold a charge. And for anyone who’s interested, you can purchase a variety of bands and screen covers for it in different colours, materials, and styles. Fitness trackers can be as stylish as you want them to be.
In my experience, having a fitness tracker really opened my eyes to so many positives (and negatives that needed improvement) with regard to my self-care. I can’t imagine not having one. You can view them here: https://amzn.to/3yKFZEB (copy and paste link into browser to access details).
If a fitness tracker isn’t of interest to you, consider using online trackers or good, old-fashioned pen and paper to keep track of managing your self-care.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter
In many cases within a dysfunctional family system, the individual who is silently labelled as the scapegoat or black sheep will be a truth-teller. By this, I mean someone who tells their truth at any cost, even when it comes to the dysfunctions of their family of origin or a close relationship with a partner or friend.
Given that narcissists, for example, create their own self-serving realities and expect everyone to accept them without question, a truth-teller is an aggravation to them. This may be one of the reasons why the scapegoat or black sheep was targeted in the first place. Who better to hold accountable for all the family’s or relationship’s problems than someone who has the power to blow the whistle on the entire system? So the scapegoat is perpetually discredited and made to look like a liar, or even “crazy”, in order to protect the narcissist’s (or other toxic person’s) carefully crafted persona and to carry on the family or relationship roles and systems.
I say, embrace truth-telling. There will always be people who dislike the truth because it doesn’t fit their narrative. So be it. It isn’t the end of the world. Over time, many of us who are scapegoated, black sheep, truth-tellers eventually separate ourselves from our toxic family of origin (or other relationships in our lives) because we realize that no matter what we say or do to simply be ourselves or defend ourselves, those dynamics will continue. As long as we continue to speak our truth, we will be targeted, blamed, and have smear campaigns launched against us by some people.
In the end, we need to be true to ourselves. And that includes being truth-tellers and often means going no contact or low contact with certain people. Is that challenging? It definitely can be. Is it impossible? Nope. And, in my experience, it will bring more peace and calm into daily life than was ever experienced in the past. That’s worth its weight in gold.
Don’t be afraid to be a truth-teller. And just know that if someone doesn’t like hearing your truth, especially about dysfunctional family or relationship systems, it’s probably because they feel threatened by it. That’s their issue, not yours. And don’t forget about self-care if you’re in the midst of challenges. Here’s a great book that you might want to consider for ideas: https://amzn.to/3n2B92Y. (Just copy and paste the link into your browser and it will direct you to the book.)
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and Twitter
For anyone, whether they are recovering from narcissistic abuse, trying to depressurize from a high-stress occupation, contemplating and/or implementing major life changes, living with mental or physical wellness issues and so on, learning to seek out everyday peace or simply peaceful moments can make an enormous difference in our lives.
Finding peace isn’t as simple as closing our eyes and spinning around three times while uttering the word ‘zen’ and breathing deeply. It also doesn’t mean that all our worries and issues will magically disappear; however, finding peace can help us to stay balanced and grounded no matter what life is throwing at us. Peace is a state of mind and also a practice that, at first, requires dedicated time and a conscious effort. We can build up from short moments to being able to maintain it throughout many of our days if we choose. It can eventually become a natural event that we turn to without much thought or planning. Peace is a state that we need to become familiar with so that it becomes easily recognizable and attainable.
Peace initially arises from concerted efforts to quiet our minds and bodies from the stresses and hustle and bustle of everyday life. This practice of quieting can include anything that works for a person, from meditation to yoga to walking to swimming and anything in between. If a particular activity brings about relaxation and the letting go of stress and tension, then that’s a practice that we know works for us. We’re each unique individuals and, as such, we have unique needs. Shutting off from all electronic devices and possibly other people while you do this is incredibly helpful as well. We are also the decision-makers as to how often we engage in the practice of finding peace. Making it a routine can definitely be quite helpful in ensuring that it becomes a regular activity for us.
One thing to bear in mind is that our minds and bodies are interconnected. When we make an effort to settle our minds, it is generally easier for our bodies to follow suit, and vice versa. Peace is born out of achieving a state of calm and self-care whenever we are able to do so. As we become more adept at reaching this state, it becomes more habitual and ‘normal’ for us to do so more and more regularly. From peace can come holistic wellness and a host of other benefits on all levels.
So think about giving it a try – find your peace and see where it takes you. 🙂
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
The bottom line when it comes to negative, unpleasant people is that you have no obligation to have them in your life. From romantic partners to family members to friends to coworkers and everyone in between, no one has an obligation to accept and endure toxic behaviour.
I’ve said this in past posts but it deserves repeating – focus on how you ‘feel’ when in the presence of a negative (potentially narcissistic) individual. How do you feel on every level (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual)? If being in the same room with someone makes you feel anxious, depressed, fearful, worried, bad about yourself (one or all of the above), it might be beneficial for you to assess your relationship with them.
Try spending time with other people whose very presence makes you feel peaceful, positive, cared for, etc. because they foster those environments and feelings, and you will notice the massive differences as compared to interacting with a toxic person. Life can be happier, more peaceful and rewarding when we interact with positive people.
What can we do if we can’t find new functional friends or spend time with these sorts of positive people right now, particularly because of COVID? It’s always a good thing to learn to be content and happy by yourself. Hobbies, activities you enjoy, relaxing … whatever it may be, you can be your own happy place. In the end, we are the only ones who can make ourselves truly happy. That isn’t something anyone else can do for us.
So, call that fun relative or friend, hang out in an online forum with others who have common interests, or spend some quality time on your own. But try to avoid believing that you have any responsibility or obligation to allow negative (especially narcissistic), unpleasant, hurtful people to be a part of your existence.
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
Exercise is an important part of self-care. It can be anything from stretching routines to walks to running to biking to hiking to working out with weights to swimming to skiing to skateboarding and the list goes on. Many forms of exercise don’t cost a dime to engage in.
When you add in exercise that takes place outside, it brings the element of nature to the situation. Depending upon where you are, nature often involves beautiful sights, fresh air, quiet and so on. It can help you to feel more calm and peaceful while your body experiences the many benefits of physical activity.
Sometimes the last thing we feel like doing or believe we have time for is exercise. I have often felt that way. But the truth is that after exercising, I have never once regretted doing so. In fact, I usually feel rejuvenated and energized.
Exercise can be whatever you want it to be and scheduled so that it easily fits into your life. It has a multitude of mental and physical benefits, and there are many options that come with no cost.
If you haven’t already, consider adding exercise into your life at whatever level you feel comfortable. Once you push through finding excuses not to do it, it gets easier and more enjoyable every time you engage in physical activity.
Here is a book and corresponding link to it that could be helpful if you’re interested in delving deeper into this area of self-care:
Until next time,
Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ www.naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
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