Tag: boundaries (Page 10 of 12)

Abuse, Stress, and the Toll on Our Bodies

March 1, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Childhood abuse and trauma, together with cumulative negative experiences with toxic people as our lives move forward, often results in an exaggerated physiological response to stressful situations.  Our emotional reactions register within our mind and body, and this can also lead to mental and/or physical illnesses.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, shows “how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust”.  This is a great book with beneficial insights into the workings of stress and trauma on our bodies and minds.  (Amazon Link to this book: https://amzn.to/3SHQIsE).

When we are aware of how abuse, stress, and trauma can affect our minds and bodies, we have the opportunity to minimize our exposure to these situations and/or learn how to successfully manage it in our lives.  There are many helpful activities that we can engage in, which I have discussed in previous posts, that include deep breathing, mindfulness, self-care, talking with a trusted individual, and so on.  We are empowered when we learn about the impacts of certain negative situations on our wellbeing, and then take steps to minimize those impacts.  Protecting ourselves from harm is imperative, and we have the right to take steps to keep ourselves safe.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

 

 

The Two Sides of an Enabling Parent

January 21, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Hello, everyone!

I wanted to write a bit about enabling parents and the two sides that we might see with them.  There’s one side that they need to stay in character with when they are around their narcissistic partner, and there’s the other side that represents who they truly are.  By that, I mean the real person that this individual is when not being controlled and overseen by their toxic mate.

What many of us may see, while the narcissist is present, is a parent who behaves in meek, mild, passive, obedient, and often child-like ways, as well as seeming that they don’t have a mind of their own.  They also tend to go along with their partner, against us, often without so much as asking our perspective or possibly even considering that we have a different perspective.  We may hear things like “Don’t let me hear you talking to your mother/father like that” or “Don’t talk back” or “Do as you’re told”, even when we’re teenagers, or even adults.  Decisions are deferred to, and all attention is spotlighted on, the narcissist.  This typically means that any children in the vicinity are all but ignored, except to blame and criticize, as though their presence is significantly lesser in comparison to the person whose ego needs constant stroking.  I mean, it all makes sense, as sad as it is.  Narcissists use tactics like the silent treatment, guilting, or raging out on their partners when they don’t get the full attention they want/need for their fragile ego.  So the only way that enabling parents can keep some semblance of, albeit, weak peace in their lives is to make their narcissistic partner the center of the universe and fulfill their every selfish whim.

However, on those rare occasions when the non-toxic parent is away from the other parent (narcissists don’t like to let their enablers out of their sight), we may see full glimpses of their true selves.  In fact, they may seem like an entirely different person.  It can feel like a breath of fresh air to witness it.  In my experiences and those I have heard from others, the enabling parent may suddenly seem much more confident, happy, caring, interested in you/your life, sociable, carefree, and quite willing to make decisions for themselves.  I’ve even seen physical changes take place, like standing up taller as opposed to slouching, and marked, positive changes in body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.  As nice as it is to see a parent as they are, even for a few moments, it’s incredibly heartbreaking to realize the full scope of the life (using that term loosely in this case) they lead with their partner.  Yes, as children of narcissists, we have our own set of difficult circumstances and feel a need to cover up our authentic selves in the presence of our disordered parent.  There’s no doubt about it.  And it’s incredibly painful to feel unprotected and cast aside by an enabling parent.  But it doesn’t make it any less difficult to see an enabling parent who may also be suffering and living as someone other than who they are, just to maintain some small fragment of peace.

It’s a crime that narcissists, using their manipulative and deceptive behaviours, are able to cause those around them to retreat into shells of their true selves and not live the full lives they are meant to live, children and partners alike.  Obviously there can be exceptions to this, like families with two narcissistic parents, or an enabling parent who sometimes takes a stand for themselves and even for their children.  Overall, though, rather than being what a family should be, life with narcissists can often be compared to a prison, with a warden who calls all the shots and creates a system that benefits them and them alone.

There are ways to heal from narcissists.  There is hope.  We need to educate ourselves – on narcissism, on boundaries, on low- and no-contact, on healing ourselves, etc. – and empower ourselves.  Natural Clarity Coaching is a useful support system, as are many other resources.  No one needs to be alone when grappling with these circumstances.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

 

What Happens When We Leave a Toxic System?

January 18, 2023 / / 0 Comments

When we decide to go low contact or no contact with dysfunctional family members, friends, partners, workplaces, and so on, what happens to those individuals and the toxic system?  It doesn’t really matter as far as our own healing and progress is concerned, but it’s interesting to consider it.

In the case of, say, a narcissistic romantic partner, there may be an initial attempt at keeping the relationship intact but they will typically move on to a new person (aka source of supply, meaning someone to keep their ego happy temporarily).  When there are children involved, there may be issues, but there is definitely an assortment of legal and other means of managing everything.  Toxic workplaces would be similar to romantic partners because there will typically be someone there to fill the void space, as would be the case with the majority of toxic friends (particularly ones with shallow bonds).

But when it comes to a toxic family system with, potentially, a narcissist at the helm, what happens when, say, the scapegoat leaves through low contact or no contact?  This is different than the relationships noted above.  Family systems have incredibly lengthy histories, with specific people who “play” certain roles.  For example, with a narcissistic mother as the dominant individual, there will quite likely be an enabling father.  And there will be a child or children who are the scapegoat or the golden child.  The dysfunctional family system, and particularly the narcissist, needs everyone to stay in order to maintain the status quo.  And the people within the system can’t simply be replaced.  This toxic system can often include extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and others.  In order to survive, it needs its members to remain in the loop and to play their given parts.

So, scapegoats will often experience attempts by family members to keep them drawn into the mix.  A narcissistic parent needs the scapegoat; to talk about, complain about, blame, control, condescend to, put down, manipulate.  Without this relational dynamic, the narcissist’s system falls apart.  This is at the very root of the entire game they play to feed their fragile egos.  How can they play the victim or place blame if the scapegoat isn’t available?  Who do they compare their golden child to, if not the scapegoat?  How do they pass their time with, perhaps, an enabling partner if they don’t have their usual scapegoat fodder to regularly discuss and dissect?  It may not even be the narcissistic parent who attempts to draw a scapegoat back into the fold.  In fact, they’re more likely to play the victim of ‘abandonment’ and then encourage others to do the convincing on their behalf.  It could be the enabling parent, siblings, other relatives, or flying monkeys (people who do the narcissist’s bidding on the mistaken belief that the narcissist is being victimized) who are friends of the narcissist.  Why?  Because they likely feel ill at ease with the shift in the system, in addition to having to deal with an angry narcissist who, without their fall guy, might now be aiming their increased victim charade, outbursts, blaming, and negative behaviour at other people.  Everyone in the system wants to keep the narcissist happy, if only to make their own lives less difficult.  Just like a loss of hydro to a home, the goal of a toxic family that has lost its integral scapegoat is to reinstitute them in their role and put the system back to ‘normal’.

To sum it up, toxic family systems will be turned on their heads when a scapegoat makes the decision to remove themselves.  And those who remain will struggle with the change and will have a tendency to want to bring everything back as it was.  Holding an awareness of this can be of great benefit for scapegoats.  We may get the emotional impression management treatment from family members who want us to return to our role so that everything will be back in place.  “We all miss you, please come back.  We’re your family”.  But the sad truth is that they don’t miss ‘us’; they miss the perceived stability of the toxic system, whether they realize it or not.  Everyone needs to play their part to keep the dysfunction alive and well in order to have even the slightest chance of a bit of peace in their lives.  This system is familiar and it’s what keeps narcissists as content as they can be, which means that everything can keep rolling along, as well as it possibly can in such a disordered environment.  When we leave, they want us to return, but not for the right reasons.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

New Year, New Possibilities for Peace

January 5, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I’m a little late for a New Year’s post, but here it is in the spirit of January 1st.

My wish for everyone, especially those negatively affected by narcissists and other toxic individuals, is that they find and/or maintain a life filled with peace.  Peace can permeate other layers of our lives and make everything else better, or, at the very least, somewhat easier.  How we attain peace will look different for each person.  But it’s a possibility for everyone, no matter how challenging things may be at any given moment.

For this new year with new possibilities, think about finding your peace, or maintaining and growing the peace that you’ve already established for yourself.  Peace is the key to so many other components of our lives.  No matter what’s going on around us, we have the ability to cultivate peace and hold it within ourselves.  It won’t always be a simple task, but it is a possibility.  It might even help to think of plants and trees that manage to grow in sidewalk cracks.  Sometimes we have to grow our peace in less than ideal conditions, but it will grow despite the harshest of environments.

So, I wish you all peace in 2023! 

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

Self-Care as an investment in personal health and strength

December 31, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Self-care is something that I make note of in my writing on a regular basis.  Why?  Because it matters…a lot.

“Self-care is a sustainable and holistic investment in our minds and bodies. It includes taking good care of our physical health, most notably by eating healthily, exercising, and sleeping well. But it also entails looking after our minds and emotions, which can take the form of setting time aside for activities that nourish our spirits and learning to understand how we can best replenish our energies” (Schaffner, 2020).

When we make self-care a priority, we also make our health a priority.  Without health, what are we left with?

Self-care is of particular importance when we are interacting with toxic people.  It helps to keep us strong in all ways – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And while it can be incredibly challenging to find time for self-care, with toxic people either demanding all of our attention or finding ourselves too upset or stressed to focus on personal care, carving out even just a few minutes whenever possible can make a major difference.  Some narcissists, for example, create situations where we can become regularly fatigued (as with events that result in sleep deprivation), which weakens us on a holistic level.  They know that their targets are easier to control and manipulate when their defences are down.  So, if we can keep ourselves as strong as possible, we can have a better chance of not becoming absolutely overwhelmed and exhausted, which leaves us unprotected from the whims of disordered individuals.  Also, if we’ve chosen low- or no-contact with a given person or people, we need strength to uphold our boundaries and adjust to and thrive in the changes that we have chosen for ourselves.

No matter who you are or where you are at in your life’s journey, self-care truly is essential.  What self-care looks like for each person – beyond the basics of healthy eating, exercising, and adequate sleep – will be unique.  We need to tune into ourselves to find what soothes our soul and gives us energy.  Once we know what works for us, self-care routines are helpful.  But, as was mentioned above, if regular times for self-care are not currently possible, then fitting it in where we can is the next best option.  A healthy snack, taking a walk, going to bed a few minutes earlier than usual, listening to music, engaging in art of some kind, chatting with friends, playing with pets…whatever it may be that we can take even a few moments to do, it all empowers us and makes an impact.

Until next time,

Heather

~Natural Clarity Coaching~

naturalclaritycoaching.com

na********************@***il.com

Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

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References

Schaffner, A. K. (2020, May 20). How To Practice Self-Care: 10 Worksheets and 12 Ideas. PositivePsychology.com.        https://positivepsychology.com/self-care-worksheets/

Scapegoats of Narcissists: Abused and then taking the blame for the abuse

December 28, 2022 / / 0 Comments

A key feature of narcissists is their need to create a scapegoat (or, sometimes, scapegoats).  Scapegoats are the fall guys for toxic people.  Narcissists: “Our family has problems…the scapegoat caused all of it”…”I’m having a bad day at the office…the scapegoat is at fault”.  Obviously they wouldn’t use the term “scapegoat”.  Replace that with actual names and you’ve got it.

Anyone who is a scapegoat will have experienced narcissistic abuse (put-downs, endless criticisms, regular pointing out of alleged flaws, being unjustifiably blamed for everything, sometimes physical abuse, and so on).  This can occur anywhere – within families, romantic relationships, or within workplaces.  And its purpose is to keep the heat off the narcissist.  They pass the buck so that they never need to be accountable for their actions or viewed as they truly are.  So, this abuse is the first step within a toxic system.  The second step is that of scapegoats accepting blame for the abuse.  Most scapegoats find themselves feeling so defeated and downtrodden that they begin to believe that they are who they’re told they are, everything wrong is their fault, and they deserve to be abused.  We’re trained to believe these things; that we’re the problem and we get the treatment that is coming to us as a result.  That’s what the narcissist needs us to believe, and they often have enablers/flying monkeys who will gladly support this dysfunctional system just to maintain the status quo and to avoid becoming abused or scapegoated themselves.

It’s quite the grand cover-up that narcissists create for themselves at the expense of others.  So, when it looks like they have everything locked up and have left us no way out, how do we escape it?  The biggest step is awareness.  Just being conscious of how this disordered system works is more than half the battle.  Beyond that, we have numerous options.  We can go low- or no-contact with the abusive individual and their enablers.  This can be challenging, whether it’s within a workplace, family, or other type of relationship.  It may mean taking steps that are outside of our comfort zone.  But we are never trapped unless we allow ourselves to believe that we are.  There are paths out of the lair.  We just need to see them and be willing to take the steps.  That may mean walking away from or creating strong boundaries within family or relationships, asking for shift or department changes at work, or maybe even finding a new job with a healthy environment.

No one…absolutely no one…deserves to be abused, let alone trained to feel that they brought the abuse on themselves.  It’s soul-crushing and unfair.  Once we see the actual truth of how it all works, we can open our minds to new, healthy possibilities for ourselves.  For me, personally, when I pulled myself out of the narcissistic and abusive system and began to heal, my life started to change in amazing ways.  I also learned so much about who I am.  Read that again:  who I am.  Because it’s difficult to know who we truly are within abuse.  It becomes much clearer when we’re no longer being manipulated and abused.  The basic fact, though, is that none of us are the person that dysfunctional people and their enablers make us out to be.  That’s just a fictional role that is thrust upon us to serve the selfish needs of others.  We don’t have to wear the scapegoat suit, nor do we have to accept abuse at the hands of anyone.  We aren’t responsible for making anyone feel good about themselves or holding together a dysfunctional system that thrives on toxicity, just to avoid rocking the boat.  Rocking the boat needs to happen if positive change is to come into our lives.

And there are always people available to help us along the way.  They can come in the form of non-toxic family members, friends, co-workers.  There are also many different professionals who can help, including life coaches, counsellors, social workers, HR representatives in workplaces, and the list goes on.  We aren’t ever alone, even though it may sometimes feel that way.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

Happy Holidays! Here’s some tips to help you get through, especially if toxic people are in the picture

December 21, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Well, here we go.  Another holiday season is upon us.  While special occasions should be enjoyable, they can be quite the opposite when toxic people are involved.  Be they partners, family, friends, coworkers, etc., some people seem to drag their drama and unpleasantries to every party, gathering, and dinner table when the holidays come around.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, if we need/want to attend events that will include narcissists and other difficult people, boundaries are always at our disposal.  That could include avoiding conversations, speaking minimally if we get pulled into any chit-chat, or walking away if we feel the need to do so.  It’s possible to be polite and not make a scene when attempting to avoid contact with someone.  Unless we’d like to make a scene, of course.  In that case, go for it!  Just be true to you, whatever that may look like.  And even if we’re in a room full of enablers (flying monkeys) of the toxic person/people, we can hold our heads high while recognizing that narcissists are very convincing, manipulative people who can pull the wool over some people’s eyes.  But that often changes.  Until then, we can define it as one of those “it is what it is” situations.  In the end, the behaviour of toxic people and their dutiful flying monkeys has absolutely nothing to do with us.  We just happen to be the (often scapegoated) current target of their misery and drama.

We can also choose not to attend events at which the person or people in question may be.  Yes, it sucks to miss out but we need to weigh that against loss of peace and increases in stress levels.

For those of us who are low- or no-contact and have been choosing not to attend events with certain individuals, the little worm of loneliness may try to creep in.  But we can ignore that feeling by keeping ourselves busy with new traditions, hobbies, or making plans for spending time with people who are less challenging to be around.

And above all else, make time for self-care.  Even five minutes can help if that’s all the time we can manage.  Deep breathing, yoga, going for a walk, time with friends, a warm bath…whatever gives us some downtime and relaxation can make a world of difference.  Absolutely every little moment of self-care helps our bodies, minds, and spirits to stay resilient and provides optimal chances for overall wellbeing.

Happy Holidays!  We can do this! 

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

Enablers are often abused by narcissists

December 9, 2022 / / 0 Comments

 

For many of us – whether we are no contact, low contact, or still involved with our family of origin – witnessing or hearing about a narcissist abusing their enabler will be a common theme.  This could be parents, grandparents, siblings in unhealthy relationships, etc.  When we make choices to protect ourselves from narcissistic abuse, we may also lose our connection with the enabler.  It can feel like a double-whammy and a huge loss.  Although enablers can often seem like accessories to the behaviour of narcissists, let’s take a look at things from their perspective.

Enabling personalities will justify or indirectly support the often harmful behaviour of narcissists.  In most cases, this is unintentional.  It could be the result of the enabler having been raised in a toxic family and feeling that the dynamics are ‘normal’ in adulthood.  And the other main reason can be that the enabler is also narcissistically abused by their partner.  This typically rotates with special treatment in order for the narcissist to keep the enabler hooked.  In essence, though, going along with the narcissist creates the least amount of suffering for the enabler.  It’s not right or fair to anyone involved, particularly scapegoated children of any age, but it’s typically the best way for enablers to keep some semblance of peace in their lives.  While we may have high expectations of our parents, they are only human in the end.

So while looking at an enabler from the perspective of also being a target of the narcissist can sometimes be a difficult task, it can also be helpful for scapegoats to be aware of it, even if just to understand that their seemingly complicit behaviour isn’t personal against us.  This is definitely not an excuse for their being an often unwitting accessory to toxic actions, or at the very least a silent onlooker, but it’s a valid explanation.  Enablers are essentially programmed to go along with dysfunction.  In my experience and in hearing the experiences of many others, enablers suffer, too.  I’ve heard stories of enablers facing health challenges and being met with a ‘partner’ (using that term lightly) who has zero empathy, care, or concern.  In fact, the narcissist may even complain about how these health issues are inconvenient for them.  Despite the enabler’s loyalty to this person, they rarely or never see any reciprocation.  Narcissists cause suffering for everyone around them, unless we find ways to distance ourselves from them.  And when we do take steps to protect ourselves, we may then be witness to ongoing abuse against enablers.  We may even wish we could rescue them.  But, unfortunately, protecting ourselves against narcissistic people is a personal decision that needs to happen for each of us independently.  And trying to force anything can bring down a bigger storm of abuse on enablers.

Although any kind of ties with narcissists are never just, uncomplicated, or painless, it’s helpful to lessen the sting if we don’t view an enabler as part of a ‘team’ working against us with a toxic family member.  In many cases, as I’ve mentioned, enablers have grown up in abusive families, only to wind up with more abusers due to the patterns of dysfunction that they think are normal and familiar.  It’s sad, really.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

Special Occasions and Toxic Families

November 25, 2022 / / 0 Comments

With Thanksgiving underway in the U.S. today, there will be many people attempting to deal with difficult situations.  This could be in the form of interacting with toxic family members or experiencing loneliness from being either no contact or ignored.  There’s no doubt that all of these situations are incredibly challenging and painful.  The big question is: what’s the best way to deal with upsetting contact and/or loneliness, especially during special occasions?

The answer to that question is not a one-size-fits-all solution.  Each individual’s situation is unique, as is where they currently are in their journey.  So, as a result, there is no perfect answer.  It comes down to knowing that we have the right and ability to do what works best for us as individuals.  That may mean expressing boundaries to toxic family members.  It may mean staying home or spending time with other people.  There are a multitude of possibilities.  But in the end, what is important is that we do what works best for us.  That looks different for each person.  For some, it may mean maintaining the status quo because conflict isn’t on the books for us right now.  For others, it may look like taking a stand and laying down lines that we will enforce at all costs.   For others still, peace and contentment may include the choice to simply stay home and avoid the toxicity.  And all of those are perfectly fine if it fits with our current needs and goals.  One tactic that rarely works in creating or keeping peace within ourselves is doing what we think will make others happy.  Most of us who have grown up in dysfunctional family systems have been trained to focus our energy primarily on the happiness of others, rather than tending to our own lives.  So it helps to be aware of this tendency and keep its potential influence in mind when we’re making decisions.

No matter what, just know that doing what is right for any of us, at this particular point in time, is the most important component.  There’s no rulebook or guides to follow.  There is no comparison necessary.  Everyone’s journey is unique.  We need to live the life we’ve been given, to the best of our abilities.  Sometimes things get confusing and difficult, but if the focus is on peace and our best interests, then we’ll find our way.

Sending out vibes of positivity to each and every one of you, wherever you may be.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

Emotional Loneliness in Abnormal Environments

November 17, 2022 / / 0 Comments

As children in dysfunctional families, particularly with narcissists in the mix, emotional loneliness can be a strong factor in our lives.  We may feel very alone and abandoned, and, in many cases, this creates feelings of something being ‘wrong’ with us.  In turn, we may use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with all of it.

This emotional loneliness comes from being in an abnormal environment where sympathetic interest in us is lacking.  We may be told we’re too sensitive or too emotional.  Or the unspoken (or sometimes spoken) message might be that we don’t matter enough to our family for them to even take the time or make the effort to hear us or provide any support or comfort.  We’re usually conditioned to believe that the only voices that matter come from our caregivers and that they’re the only ones who are permitted to have and express all manner of emotions.  It’s a lonely and emotionally cut-off place to be, without a doubt.  This is abuse and it creates interpersonal trauma.

But does feeling this way mean there’s something wrong with us?  No.  Not in any way, shape, or form.  The way we feel is a completely normal reaction to an abnormal environment.  In most cases, our caregivers simply weren’t emotionally mature enough themselves, for whatever reason, to offer emotional support to anyone else.  We feel the effects of that void in the form of emotional loneliness.  It’s like being completely alone on an island.  As humans, it’s absolutely normal to feel this way in response to a lack of healthy contact and support from our caregivers.  It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us.  The root of these feelings is people who aren’t there for us the way they should be.  And we’re having normal human reactions to being starved of those connections and experiences.

So, how do we overcome emotional loneliness?  First of all, be aware that it won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth taking the time to heal.  We need to begin by repairing our conditioned reality.  Dysfunctional families are not there for one another in healthy and supportive ways.  If we’re looking at narcissistic parenting, for example, narcissists, with their fragile and needy egos, have zero ability or desire to attend to anyone but themselves, and they expect everyone around them to make them the center of the universe as well.  Once we see that, things begin to make sense.  “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with me!  I was reacting normally to an abnormal environment.”  Then we need to move on to the next step, which is to learn to love ourselves.  It sounds cliched, for sure.  But it helps us to heal.  This can look like building compassion for and trust in ourselves, giving ourselves the unconditional love that we deserved but rarely or never received as children, comforting and hearing our inner child, learning to silence our internal critic and the guilt and shame that has been unjustly forced on us, and exercising regular self-care.  We need to develop healthy, non-toxic relationships with self and with supportive others in order to heal ourselves.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ naturalclaritycoaching.com na********************@***il.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

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